Tuesday, June 28, 2011

I am Trying!


It's Not Working!

“The minds of all of us are haunted by thoughts which have not yet found expression,
and it is often the happy, fortune of the aphorist
to drag from obscurity some such dim intuition, or confused bit of experience;
to clothe it in words and bring daylight
for our recognition.”

                    Logan Pearsall Smith



 It is 3a.m. and I am laying here wide-awake thoughts running through my head, trying to escape. I push them back down. I picture myself jumping on them trying to keep them in this container. It is impossible, the harder I try, the harder they push. My mind is racing.
 They know I have taken this time to recharge, they are relentless. They will not be stifled.
  Stop, please stop.
 Turning, turning, pushing, and pushing. If one escapes I am doomed, the rest will quickly follow. No rest, no rest.
 I picture the lid bulging, pulsating, and ready to blow. I must stop it, I must stop it.
 I jump out of bed, the first thought pounces, I try to shut the lid, and it is no use. They are rushing past this crack in the lid. Pushing, pushing. More, more; I have to get a pen.
 I let my hand glide over the paper. The thoughts pouring out, there is no stopping them now, the lid has been pushed aside. My hand cannot keep up with the pace. Racing, racing, page, after page spewing from my head. I must let it all out. I must empty this chamber.
 I write, and write, there seems to be no end. I am exhausted. It is done.
 Sleep, sleep.


 The point of this post is that I may not be able to stay on this break. I will either blog, or fill my dresser drawers again, with these thoughts. We will see how it goes.

Later.

12 comments:

  1. It is maddening how I can awaken in the wee hours and have such a deluge of REALLY IMPORTANT thoughts. I promise myself that I will write them down when I get out of bed later. But, when I arise, incredibly, I cannnot recall a single one.

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  2. Here's the way I deal with these thoughts that I have off and on. I will open a new post, write the title, then save it for later. All the ideas are sitting there, waiting to be reopened and expanded, if I choose. Sometimes, a few days later, the great "idea" or thought I had a few days before no longer seems so fantastic. Hah!

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  3. Oh those night thoughts - lurking, just waiting for their chance to break out ;-)
    Sweet dreams.

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  4. It is hard to keep it all bottled up isn't it.:)

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  5. It is good to let it out and let it go.

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  6. Ahh, the blog addiction. You think you can quit any time you want. But NO. We've found an outlet for all those bottled-up thoughts and, even better, people out there who share our interests and our sleepless nights. Hoping for a better night tonite for you.

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  7. I've tried the Blog Diet and hopelessly failed as well.

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  8. I know just how you feel...haven't you noticed I'm on a break too. I just don't know when to begin and where to end.
    I have so much to do and I keep coming back!! Don't feel bad...just take your time. Maa

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  9. Just Blog. I don't know how old you are...I'll be 53 in a couple of days. I find that the older I get, the less I sleep through the night. I hate it.

    Cindy Bee

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  10. Wow, Buttons the poet uncorked. Beautifully said, you almost had me wanting to jump in and help! Your pictures ~ again, pure poetry...

    Blessings, Debbie

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  11. I hate that happening unless it is a creative idea!

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The mind grows by what it feeds on. J.G. Holland

Thank you so much for your comments, they mean more to me then I could ever express. Hug B