Monday, September 10, 2012

Stormy Inside and Out!

Agriculture for an honorable and high-minded man,
is the best of all occupations or arts
by which men procure the means of living.
           Xenophon


I am sitting here at my table watching the rain come down in buckets, huge buckets, the timing is ironic as this is something we needed months ago. It may be silly but the thunder crashing and the lighting piercing the sky unrelenting is exactly how my heart feels. This storm of mixed emotions all crashing inside my heart, every time I hear the thunder or see that lightning bolt, I feel a sharp jab.

 Every one of our stocker calves are in the barn waiting to go to a new home, we do not have the hay to keep them any longer and so it must be done. I made the mistake of getting very attached to them. I knew their personalities and they trusted me enough to walk into the barn with no fuss, no chasing, nothing but blind trust. Maybe I am just getting older and this bothers me more I really don’t know. We gave them a good home. I remember that every time we have had to do this it has hurt but for some reason this time seems more difficult. It may be as simple as, all our choices have been taken out of our hands. The weather had all the choices we were totally at its mercy for the first time in a long while.

This is the nature of this business, and I must stress this is a business, allowing us to keep this place we call home, a place I cannot imagine leaving any time soon. This place where my heart sings in the bush, a place I truly need or I am afraid I would shrivel and die. The taxes and accumulated bills need to be paid and we are cattle farmers this is just the way it is.

 I sometimes wish we were crop farmers and did not have the emotional attachments that go with hands on cattle farming. I can’t imagine getting attached to a field of beans or corn but I do know I would still continue to have those feelings of hopelessness and the financial worries that this drought has inflicted on a lot of us. I do not know of any farmer that is immune to the stresses the weather has always inflicted on them, this year being particularly bad. Farming is a tough thing to do, as someone told me years ago “you need a thick skin” and I just have to remember that.

These stocker calves are going to a farm that has plenty of hay and they will be well fed. This is the thought that keeps me going, for now. I have this overwhelming need to escape to the bush (my sanctuary) even though it is pouring buckets.

 Our hope is that we will be able to hold on to our cows a little longer now as this rain should make the pastures come back and now with less mouths to feed we are preserving those precious winter hay bales, and it will work out, at least till the snow flies. Better go there’s their ride.

Later 

25 comments:

  1. Oh, I'm so sorry about your cows. I hope that their new home will prove just as much a cattle spa as yours has been!

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  2. You gave all of these cows such love. I'm sure you must feel similar to a mother letting her children go. I'm sorry, B. I really am. But I pray these rains will help you keep and nurture the ones lucky enough to stay with you.

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  3. Gosh it must be just so hard at times. When there's drought, cattle have to be sold due to lack of feed. When there's lush times, the animals have problems from the rich feed. Nature throws everything at the very people who are growing food for our table. I'll say it again... it must be just so hard at times.

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  4. I'm sure it's hard for you to see these babies go. Like you said, you gave them a good home! I'm sure they will also be well cared for in their new home, because I know you wouldn't send them anywhere else! ((HUGS))

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  5. Sorry about your babies....but, you have done the very best you could for them. You're a good mama.

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  6. oh i am sure that is sooo very hard to see them move to new homes...big hugs to you...you've done such a great job raising them...

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  7. i know you hate this part. i understand completely. no easy way around it.

    i am grateful for your rains - even late.

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  8. I understand how difficult this part of cattle farming must be for you. It is a business, but living critters are involved. Take care and I hope you can wander out into your bush soon and let it sustain you.

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  9. I understand how you feel ! Even though we lived off of our livestock we gave them a good life and always got to attached to them and when it was time to load them up it did make us sad but that's the way of life in farming ! I do hope your cattle will be able to come back home and all will work it's self out !

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  10. My heart breaks for the farmers this summer. The heat and the drought has been devastating.

    I hope the rain you are getting now will help some.

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  11. I feel for you. I am reading so many stories of farmers who can no longer keep their cattle because of the lack of rain. So sad.

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  12. Oh I am sorry you are finding this so hard - but I can totally understand how you feel.
    I'm hoping the rains ease a wee bit along with the turmoil you are feeling.
    Take care!!!

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  13. Bless all the farmers who keep us fed. My heart breaks everytime I think of you and your babies. Just remember everything happens for a reason, it may take years to figure out but this will come clear at some point.

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  14. ((((((BUTTONS)))))))))) Farming is definitely not for anyone faint of heart. It's a tuff road but with oh so many hidden rewards.

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  15. I'm glad you are getting some rain and hope that it helps revive some of the fields. I think there would be something wrong with you if you DIDN'T feel bad about the calves going, it just shows how much you care for your animals. It is hard though when the decisions are taken away from us. {{HUGS}}

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  16. More power to you. I could never go through with all the things you have to deal with. Crop farming I could handle. Regardless, the rain will help.

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  17. oh Buttons I am so sorry :( You have been through some tough times... first the heat now this. I really am sorry.

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  18. You write beautifully with great feeling. Lea and I hope to be more on to it from now! We do become attached to our pets and animals as we discover their personalities!

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  19. The problem is your cows are too nice. I'm sure my dad has a couple of fence crawlers and people chasers (we call them Owly) to send you. I know it doesn't help today, but a new crop of ornery cattle may make sale day smoother:) Probably not the direction you wanted to go.

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  20. It has to be hard to give up the cows- I couldn't do it. I get upset when I have to listen to our neighbors separate the mamas from their calves..the bawling..and their not even my cows!

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  21. It's so hard being a rancher or farmer of any kind, I am sure. I do understand about you getting attached to the cows you have to part with. That has to be really heart-wrenching! Hope the rains make things turn for the better, at least.

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  22. As long as I have know you, you always treat your cows as one of the family and they used to have their own names. I remember that after all these years.
    Thrilled it's raining, drought is not nice.
    Love and best wishes my dear friend...M xoxoxox

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  23. Oh, I so understand your feelings! It is so hard to let the calves go. I also try not to get to attached, but I can't help it. It is the worst thing about cattle ranching! Last year during the drought, we had to sell mama cows too. Forunately, they went to ranches in Oklahoma and Kansas where the grass was green and lush!
    xo

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  24. aaaaaah...rain!! a little late but better late...

    i know how you must feel...about your cows...no matter how you try not to get attached...you see them every day, you care for them...you provide for them...you do the best you can. and then it's time to watch them go. your little ones. but i guess it's the way of things...they'll settle in their new home. you gave them the best start any MOOMOO could ask for!! =)

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The mind grows by what it feeds on. J.G. Holland

Thank you so much for your comments, they mean more to me then I could ever express. Hug B

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