Thursday, January 24, 2013

Cannot See!

The true past departs not; no truth or goodness realized by man ever dies, or can die;
but all is still here, and, recognized or not,
lives and works through endless changes.
                             Thomas Carlyle


It is the middle of the night and I am sitting here huddled in an old sweatshirt from one of my girls trying not to make any noise as not to wake anyone. It is cold and I did not grab any socks so I try to hold my feet off the floor by balancing them on the legs of the kitchen table. I look out the window and see the barn and the chicken coop silhouette created by the light of a moon, I cannot see but know is there. The snapping of the beams or possibly the brick of this farmhouse tells me it must be cold outside. I am typing on the computer because it relaxes me and takes my mind off the pain of the Fibro that I cannot see but know is there. The Fibro does not like the cold.

I get up and walk quietly over to the window to see if there are any stars out and to see if I can see that moon. The sky is full of stars and the light of the moon dances off the tin roof of the barn, I walk to the front of the kitchen and look out the front window, there is a thin blanket of snow on the ground and the moonlight makes it look so bright outside. I cannot see that moon, it must be overhead.

I think back to the full day that has now passed; I truly hope BA cannot hear me and is still sleeping comfortably down the hall. I picked BA up at the train and we went for breakfast and reminisced over coffee about our childhood and what the little village where we grew up looked like now. I told her about the changes especially about my old childhood home, the one I cannot see, now replaced by a new basement and new walls that were being built as we spoke. We talked about old stores we used to visit while walking to school with a quarter in our hand and how excited we became thinking about what candy we would buy when we walked through the door of our favourite Cunningham’s store. We talked about how her old house and many others that were no longer there but we could still remember exactly what shape they were, who used to live in them and what they looked like, even though we could not see them.

After the breakfast, we drove to the little village where we grew up and went to the Church where we used to go, and to visit the lovely ladies at the thrift store. BA has many memories here as her Mom was a volunteer and her family went there her whole life. She was married in that church before she moved away and began a life far away. We walked through the door and I could see her face change.

I could only imagine the thoughts that ran through her mind as we walked down the narrow stairway with the old brown original railing that I remembered from long ago, and then into the store. As usual, I said Hello to the lovely ladies and reminded them who my friend was, they were excited and so was BA as they talked about how loved BA’s Mom was, and what a wonderful person she was. I could not see BA’s Mom but I know she was there. I could see BA’s face light up and I could hear the old stories and could see those old places in my mind as I listened and pretended to shop. This was BA’s moment, she needed this.

Many stories of the same houses and stores that BA and I were talking about earlier over breakfast were talked about again; I was excited and so happy that we had come, seeing her face made me so happy. This is why I love this little village where we grew up, everyone remembers the places they could not see but knew were once there and all the stories that went with them. As long as everyone keeps sharing those memories they may no longer see they will never really die.

BA and I were lucky enough to get a tour of the church and see all that had changed but also see all that remained the same. I could not see her Mom standing in the kitchen making all those sandwiches, but I know she was there smiling.

On the way out we were given a DVD about the history of this church and the little village where we grew up and were very excited about what we would see. We said our goodbye’s and thank you to the lovely ladies and one nice gentleman and walked back up that narrow old staircase that we remembered from long ago to go and see more things we could not see.

We first headed over to see my old home and then we visited BA’s old home; we could not see them but we knew they were there. We also knew that as long these two little village girls that we could not see but knew were still there, had so many stories to share they would never be forgotten.

We watched that DVD as soon as we walked through the door at the farm. There were pictures of all those same houses and those same stores and old photos of familiar people we could no longer see, but we know were there.



I closed the lid on my laptop and head back to bed; I cannot wait until the morning to see what other memories that I cannot see, but I know are there somewhere waiting to be rediscovered.

Later

40 comments:

  1. It was nice to share your morning reverie as I sit working oceans away. No one else may be awake in your house, but someone is awake here, on the other end of your line.

    ReplyDelete
  2. What a lovely and touching Buttons; you and BA may not be able to see those people and places with your physical eyes anymore but you surely can with the eyes of the heart.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Buttons,

    What a beautiful post!
    Enjoy your time together, and memories of family, and places in town.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Two friends with a long shared backround. Wonderful. Have a great day B, bringing all those common memories to light.

    ReplyDelete
  5. that is one thing that no one can take away from us our memories.

    You sound so sad at the moment, I hope BA's visit will perk you up.

    Gill

    ReplyDelete
  6. A beautiful post. I'm sorry the fibro does not like the cold. I hope it doesn't act up too much.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Lovely to read about you and your friend including your memories together..enjoy..your friend M xoxoxox

    ReplyDelete
  8. As long as you can remember, and especially if you have someone to remember with, things are never gone, people never die.

    ReplyDelete
  9. :-) Wistful smiles over here, Buttons.

    Pearl

    ReplyDelete
  10. hugs buttons and i hope you have wonderful visit!

    ReplyDelete
  11. I am one of the "lovely ladies" at the thrift store,thank you Buttons. I have to share with you, what we see, when Buttons visits us. She is one of the most sincere, loving and compassionate persons I know. We look forward to her visit and her smiles, and we always seem to end up in a circle sharing our thoughts.

    Hugs db

    ReplyDelete
  12. You find so much comfort in your memories!!!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Beautiful and nostalgic; I did a trip down memory lane a couple of years ago, revisiting places I grew up, looking for houses that no longer stand, and ghosts of horses I used to ride.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I love what Jacqueline said Buttons. She is right. The eyes of the heart see better.

    ReplyDelete
  15. i am glad you gave that gift to your friend - her mother's presence, her mother's friends. priceless.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Such a lovely, wistful post. There is such warmth in shared memories~

    ReplyDelete
  17. What a sweet, beautifully written post. So glad you and BA got to catch up and talk about your memories. Sorry your Fibro is acting up. Hopefully spring will come soon for you :)

    ReplyDelete
  18. Lovely post Buttons. I hope you are feeling better today!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Memories kept for safekeeping in the heart, are the most cherished when shared.

    Enjoy your visit with your friend.

    ReplyDelete
  20. A beautiful post . The DVD was a lovely gift and will help you both keep your memories alive ! I find for my chronic aches and pains it helps to sleep under a heated blanket it has helped a lot . Stay cozy and warm and have a good day !

    ReplyDelete
  21. B, thank you so much for sharing this story with us! I too have fibro and although I am still learning all the nuances of the ailment I have learned it does not like the cold. You are so lucky to still have a childhood friend to share those memories with...
    Hugs,
    Beth P (one of your new friends from the Grow Your Blog party)

    ReplyDelete
  22. thanks for sharing your childhood memories with BA and us...must be nice to share with each other!!

    ReplyDelete
  23. What a beautiful post full of memories. Thank you for sharing it with us.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Oh Buttons, you have such a wonderful way with words! :)

    ReplyDelete
  25. I often look back on fond memories. Thanks for sharing yours.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Thank You does not seem enough for the wonderful time I had.
    From the small village and all the memories it held, and I do thank you for making me face the old/new house, to meeting and feeding Annie to just laughing and talking and laughing and talking (sorry Hero).
    The time was way too short but for me I think we packed many, many more memories away in our heads and hearts.
    Thank You, you truly are my bestest friend and I love you dearly.


    Love You, BA

    ReplyDelete
  27. Bittersweet memories to have someone to share them with can not be any more special

    ReplyDelete
  28. A great post about a lovely trip down memory lane. We made a similar trip several years ago with our parents and siblings, visiting the places we'd lived in over the years - the memories and stories came pouring out, and we saw many things that were no longer there.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Sounds like you had a beautiful visit with your friend. Thank you for coming here and sharing the love! Hope your fibro is okay now. :(

    ReplyDelete
  30. This warmed my heart, B. Such lovely thoughts. Glad you are enjoying this visit with your friend:) xx

    ReplyDelete
  31. It's beautiful to walk down memory lane with someone that shares those very same memories. There are not many people in life that share a history that goes back so far and it is something to treasure. It does stir up emotions and keeps you awake as you try to sort them in your mind. But they will settle into that beautiful place to dust off whenever you need a smile. Hugs xx

    ReplyDelete
  32. Oh my - every moment of her visit it must be like opening up a gift - the excitement, the words, the memories - what wonderous fun!!!

    (and tell that hero of yours for valentines days that you need one of these - i am on my second little "electric office heater" - thats only about a foot tall and 10 inches wide - my first one died after 11 years of use LOL but it follows me around lol I plugged in the little guy when ever I need a little heat to keep my muscles warm enough to move!!)

    ReplyDelete
  33. That must be so nice for the both of you to get to sit and reminisce about
    old time. Enjoy your visit my friend.

    Hugs~

    ReplyDelete
  34. Thank you for taking us along as you revisited those memories. Beautiful post! I grew up in a little neighborhood that has changed so much over the years, but when my friends and I get together and talk about it, it's all right there again, and always will be.

    ReplyDelete
  35. So nice to be able share memories with someone that was there and completely understands. :)

    ReplyDelete
  36. ...hoping that sitting and typing under the full moon...and reminiscing of you & your friend...times shared...has helped to set the fibro discomfort aside. have a nice visit together!

    ReplyDelete
  37. It is so much fun to talk about the "good ole days" with an old friend. Enjoy your time together.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Hi again, Buttons.
    I love the way you describe your memories that you cannot see. They are truly still there...with you.

    Blessings!

    ReplyDelete
  39. i love that someone made a dvd about the history of your village! not sure my small town could garner enough interesting facts to make one. i do have my great-grandma's wonderful old cookbooks from the ladies of our church though, with many little notes written in her hand. they take me right back to her kitchen. :)

    ReplyDelete

The mind grows by what it feeds on. J.G. Holland

Thank you so much for your comments, they mean more to me then I could ever express. Hug B

Please do not copy my work. If you like it let me know I am sure we can work something out. Copyright is in place.