Monday, January 28, 2013

CLICK! and Thank you.

In the day of prosperity there is a forgetfulness of affliction:
and in the day of affliction there is no more remembrance of affliction.
                                                      The Apocrypha


It is Friday afternoon, the chores are done, and I throw wood in the stove, I fill it with as much as it can hold, shut it down hoping not to have to walk down the stairs to do it again anytime soon. I make myself a tall mug of tea and grab a bag of crackers; I draw the curtains tightly as to not let in any of that beautiful sunlight that masks the fact that it is so horribly cold out there. That old warm fuzzy blanket full of memories draped across my shoulders feels so nice. I am now hidden from the world and its problems and I jump into a world that has its own powers.

I pick up the remote, CLICK, scrolling down the list I find a photo of something that looks interesting, reading the review I CLICK on it knowing this is just what I need. Netflix!

The movie starts slow and this loneliness and despair seeps over me slowly, my heart is broken and my soul fills with sadness as much as my eyes filled with tears. I cry loudly like the world has ended and the old tissues start to accumulate beside me one by one.

The movie ends and I again scroll down CLICK; this one should surely work, I just know it. I glance over to the clock on the wall; My Hero will be home soon expecting supper, CLICK, I do not care Netflix has me grasped tightly in its grip and will not let go. This movie also starts slow I can feel the loneliness and sadness creeping into my heart and soul. Suddenly I cannot see; my eyes hurt as a blinding light pierces the darkness from the open door.

It is My Hero I have been caught. He scans the darkened room looking for me, he knows I am here but cannot see me. I huddle under that old blanket of memories. His eyes adjust to the light and he looks at me with a huge pile of used tissues piled high on the coffee table beside me. He does not say one word. I stare at him for a moment wondering what he is thinking. My eyes dart back and forth like a cornered animal. The words that finally escape from my lips are; 

Want to watch a movie, I just started this one? He nods his head, still speechless.

CLICK, I rewind then push pause, I stand up, gather those old used tissues from the coffee table. We walk to the kitchen, I throw the tissues out, wash my hands, splash some water on my swollen eyes, dry my hands and face and open the fridge door. I pull out leftovers, we pile them on our plates without a word, we warm them up in the microwave. Grab napkins and forks and together return to the darkened room. I CLICK on the lamp so we can see our plates.  I walk over to pick up another box of tissues. We sit side by side. 

CLICK. No words are spoken and the music starts.

Oh I truly have to figure out a way to buy a new camera. I sure hope it warms up out there and snows soon. This is probably not good for you. CLICK.

If I am not around for a bit you know where I am just follow that trail of old tissues.


Wow I thought this was a funny post:) Seriously all my wonderful blogger family I am OK sometimes crying over a silly sad movie or six is all a stressed out farmgirl with no camera needs. I am truly fine. Don't worry I will be getting a camera soon I have no doubt about that, since Crazy cow broke it I am pretty sure there will be some compensation sometime soon If you know what I mean. You are the best family a girl can have.
Maybe Netflix will pay for the free advertising:) I just know all of you at one time or another have been here.
I truly love my Blogger family. Thank you this is just another bump in the road  of life "this soon will pass" and I have always been honest with you all. Maybe too honest. HUGS B

Later

34 comments:

  1. Oh B! Bless your heart. I'm so sorry you are feeling so sad right now. I am sending you good thoughts and prayers, my friend. In my mom's words "This too shall pass." Please know you are loved.

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  2. B...hopefully it was just one of those days and you will be ready for some bright sunshine soon. Emotions can really get a grip on us.

    As for the camera, mine was not working right for a short time and it somehow fixed itself. Hope the same happens to yours.

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  3. Oh Buttons- I'm sending happy thoughts. What happened to your camera..I missed that.

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  4. B -- I'm so sorry that you are feeling this way. I wish I had the funds to buy you a new camera, I do.

    Big hugs and healing thoughts, my friend. xo

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  5. Sorry to hear you are sad....was it the movie that set you off. A good cry does us wonders, I hope yours did and now you feel better my friend..Hugs M xoxox

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  6. I wish I had a spare camera to send you! I hope that you feel better soon.

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  7. Tears can be cathartic, and I hope yours were for you. Hugs to you, my friend and fellow farm lady-

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  8. You've got to get a working camera and get back outside girl...hibernating isn't healthy for humans.

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  9. Glad you're okay. Sometimes a good cry is cathartic. Is your new camera is coming out of Crazy Cow's hide? lol

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  10. Sending you many hugs at lots of frequent intervals, dear Buttons.

    Sometimes a movie or two, a good cry, and a hiatus is necessary. Totally understandable, especially so since i bawled my eyes out watching 'Hatchiko' starring Richard Gere, about an akita a few months back:)!

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  11. Sending happy and positive thoughts your way B...

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  12. sometimes escaping into a movie is therapeutic... even a sad one.

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  13. So sorry you are sad my friend. Sometimes a good cry is good for the soul.

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  14. I lose myself in a book as well as a movie. I hope you get a camera soon.

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  15. Sad movie therapy is almost as good as sad song therapy. It's the January Blues, and we have all been there. I would be lost without my camera, I hope you get one soon.

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  16. Been there done that ! You are not alone in this I to go through bouts of this watching a movie but I like to let the sunshine in . We are human and being honest is good even if it was meant to be a funny post . I would go nuts with out my camera and would cry if I couldn't take photos ! I know what you were meaning here I get it . Papa and I do the same thing we like to eat supper in the living room together watching Netflix or one of our taped shows . Hope you can get your new camera soon and start getting out there again ! It is raining here today and very damp soggy and mist all around snow is melting temps are mild ! Say cozy and have a good day !

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  17. I love, love, love your writing, wet tissues and all! I so agree with you about our blogger friends, they are the best! I'm sending hugs to you and wish for you to wake up with a smile on your face, soon. Real soon.

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  18. I can't watch sad movies. They depress me too much. I'll watch a cartoon over a sad movie any old day. lol

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  19. Feel better soon dear friend. You know I am only a phone call and 2 hours away. I think the cows liked me so anytime you need me just call.

    Love You, BA

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  20. ha, i always wonder why i do that to myself but find myself getting into a movie that i know i'll end up crying my head off, and i do...and i always feel better afterwards lol...and if the kids are watching with me, we laugh because they know i'm crying and look over and sure enough, there i am, crying lol...what movies were you watching?

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  21. I love that image!!! Looks like I will have to try crawling around in the pine needles...

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  22. So sorry about your camera! I know how much you like to take photos so that has to be really hard. I know I'd be devastated! Sounds like your Hero really understands you and gives you your space when you need it without asking too many questions. A hero, indeed.

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  23. I think in the winter, I get ... Cabin Fever!! Hard not to with all the snow we have been having lately. At least you have your clicker and your Hero by your side. Sending happy thoughts your way!

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  24. I guess you were just too convincing and got everyone thinking the wrong thing! ;)
    Since Crazy Cow broke your camera, I think compensation SHOULD be in order! Maybe you could sell HER and get one heck of a camera!

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  25. Lea and I enjoy watching movies together. Kramer vs Kramer affected me in a similar way. Often when playing my songs on the piano I become quite emotional.

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  26. Sending you hugs and strength and yes adding that there is truly nothing wrong with a good cry.

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  27. oh b, you are such a kind honest soul!!

    i am sending you kisses and big warm hugs from the jersey shore!!

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  28. Sometimes I like to sit and read a great book/ I haven't seen a good move in a long time.

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  29. *hugs* Hang in there, Miss Buttons! I do the same thing - when life is almost too much to bear, sometimes crying over something silly or insignificant is a great way to let out the stress without completely losing my grip on life.

    Hugs!
    Mandi

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  30. Hoping your weather warms and your supply of tissues is plentiful. Nothing like a good cry over a movie to banish a few miseries.

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  31. I especially appreciated the post script. ;) Poor Buttons!

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  32. good Lord; when we watch netflix after midnight we watch arrested development because it reminds me that my extended family could be worse LOL

    tears are good - they clean the soul and heart and bring out the best kind of writers ;)

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  33. you sweet dear! i think next time, you may want to follow a tear jerker with a comedy. :)

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  34. visit the darkness for awhile- we need to acknowledge its there and give it it's due and reflection.
    Hopefully the light will return soon when you are ready.
    Be gentle with yourself.

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The mind grows by what it feeds on. J.G. Holland

Thank you so much for your comments, they mean more to me then I could ever express. Hug B

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