Thursday, April 11, 2013

Hands on Mom!

A lady of 47 who has been married 27 years and has six children
knows what love really is and describes it for me like this:
“Love is what you have been through with somebody.”
                                        James Grover Thurber


I am pretty sure I am not the only one; you know that Mom who has always been there for her children from those very lows in their lives to those very highs, and everything in between, over and over until they finally spread their wings and flew to become those functioning adults on their own. This part of life has left me home to occasionally wonder if they are really doing as well as those phone calls and emails usually leave me to believe.

My girls have been on their own for many years now but every once in a while my Mom brain or emotions kick into high gear and I have this overwhelming need to go visit and crash on the couches of said adult children and experience their lives first hand. This last trip to the Big City was more about that than anything (don’t tell them OK).

I have to be honest at this point that was not the only reason for this impromptu trip I do love to go to the city and experience all that it has to offer and I miss those comforting hugs which while there I can accumulate steadily till my return back to the farm. It is honestly a great excuse to go and if I can turn it into a fact finding mission to soothe my own tiny sometimes misguided worries it is a bonus.

I am sitting in Toronto this very moment with a quilt that I had made Kat in 2006 wrapped around me, this quilt that I had an overwhelming urge to make that year when both of my girls had been gone and I needed to show them how I felt. I think back to this past week in Hamilton sleeping under the quilt I had made Melissa. The quilts are very different in styles and patterns much like the differences in my girl’s personalities and their lives but the note I had written in the corner of both those quilts is exactly the same.

I flip the corner of Kat’s quilt over and read the now slightly faded note and smile.

Think of this quilt as my arms around you keeping you safe and warm when I am not near.  Love Mom (Dec 2006)

I sit here in this big hustling bustling City knowing first hand that both my girls are doing just fine. They have very busy productive lives and have incredibly great people surrounding them who love them much like I do. They are happy. I am pretty sure there is no need for those quilts now; they have done the job they were meant to do. They have seen them through the triumphs and trials of growing up in this world away from my hugs.

Those two very different quilts hang on the back of both girls’ couches and that makes me extremely happy knowing there may never be a need for them now but they both understand the significance of them if they should ever find that need for those hugs again.


I returned home knowing my girls have happy, healthy lives and are surrounded with love. There is not a more comforting feeling in this world that a Mom who has always been very hands on could ever ask for.

Well…. maybe I could use one of those quilts myself they seemed to have worked very well. I am very proud of the lives Melissa and Kat have carved out for themselves in this sometimes crazy world we live in. I can now return home knowing this and I will be satisfied with the facts revealed on this mission… at least till the next time.

Later


45 comments:

  1. B, I don't think it's so much that they don't need them any more, but are confident in the fact that those quilts are there, as a part of you, should the need ever arise. You gave them the strength to be free, because you gave them security to be who are they are.

    Lovely post
    Hugs,
    Andrea

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  2. Roots and Wings. The best gifts we will ever give our children.
    You have done it well Mrs. Buttons. Very Well!

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  3. It's so difficult when you really don't know what's happening in their lives at every moment -- but I guess that's what they mean by letting go. You should be proud of your girls. It sounds like they are doing very well. But they had the best teachers. xo

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  4. That is so sweet!it is such a lovely quilt, you are very talented. A really beautiful message too xxx

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  5. Beautiful Buttons...... But your girls will always need those quilts. They will always feel your love and care even just at a glance at them as they hurry about their busy lives....as they pass their hands over them they rush through their exciting days......

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  6. I can feel your happiness oozing through the computer. It must be a very rewarding time for you. I have 2 girls as well I know how you felt about wondering if everything is okay in their worlds.

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  7. What a wonderful keepsake you have given them. They are sure to be passed down from generation to generation. As for the hugs...we never grow out of our need for those.

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  8. It is hard to let them go - lovely post :-)
    I made both my girls quilts as graduation gifts and I love that they use them at college.

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  9. Your quilt is beautiful and that note would've made any daughter cry. You're such a sweet mom!

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  10. Ahhh, big lump in my throat after reading this. I know exactly what you mean. My oldest is married and lives 4 hours away and I don't see her near enough. At least I'll have my teenager with me for a few more years...

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  11. Wonderful and wonderous it must have been for you as you experience your children lives through your experiences there in their settings Must be very reassuring and comforting to see first hand that they have surrounded themselves with a good life and know your tender loving care of them as seedlings allowed them to blossom to their best potential and that they are surrounded by loving friends.

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  12. I'm so glad that your fact-finding mission yielded such happy results! The quilts are such a wonderful, loving idea...and as a daughter I can tell you that daughters will never outgrow them. Perhaps I should consider doing something in a similar vein for my daughter.

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  13. Miss B,

    Coming from a girl who moved too far away from home ... We daughters will ALWAYS NEED a Mom. To hear her voice, talk to, text, and when lucky enough hug.

    Keep worrying about and visiting them. You are priceless!

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  14. You have done and continue to do a great job, Mom!

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  15. I think as Moms, when they leave the nest and we do not get those phones calls as often at times, it is us who need the hugs the most. xx

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  16. What a wonderful gift you gave to your daughters! They will always need those quilts, and they will always need you. You raised them and loved them and that helped them be able to be free and live wonderful lives. You're such a loving mom!

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  17. Ahhh B, You sure did bring tears to my eyes. My Mom once told me she worried more about us after we flew the coop because she didn't know what was going on in our lives.

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  18. You are in a sentimental mood today...
    You are also lucky that you can see your girls - mine are much too far away... Sniffle...

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  19. Our children will aways be our babies. I made a quilt for my daughter when she was a baby, it lays at the foot of her bed. I am so lucky, she lives a block away and I see her and my granddaughter every day.

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  20. That is just the sweetest thing, Buttons! That quilt is beautiful. Sounds like you did a great job raising your girls :)

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  21. just awesome - glad your girls are doing so well. :)

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  22. What a great feeling to know you have done such a good job, Buttons! I bet your daughters will forever cherish their quilts.

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  23. We mothers will always worry, even if things are going well! I'm glad you are feeling comforted by the fact that your girls are really doing well.

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  24. Lovely post ! Through those quilts your girls know you are always there . Glad to hear you had such a lovely visit and your girls are doing well . The weather is nasty very windy and rain falling all directions here ! Have a safe trip home I am sure your Hero will be so glad to have you back . Have a good day !

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  25. They will always want those quilts nearby. So touching! You have such a great relationship with your daughters.

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  26. Quilts are so much more than material and thread. Actually, maybe not...maybe they are the material and threads of our lives. Your emotional post has made me all philosophical I guess. You are a wonderful mom.

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  27. How wonderful that you could make quilts for your daughters so that they will know they are loved. They will cherish them forever. So glad they are doing well.
    As mother's we will always worry about our kids. I have 4 wonderful daughters and they are doing well. But can't help worrying about them now and then.

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  28. I have an affinity for quilts since my mamaw used to make them. I truly love them so much. What a beautiful post...

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  29. A hand made quilt is an armful of hugs you can send and receive. I just finished a quilt for the marriage of my oldest granddaughter. Wedding is Saturday.

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  30. I so know how you feel. Once a mother, always a mother,

    Gill

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  31. I am so glad you have peace of mind about your daughter's lives.

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  32. My daughter is 17, B. I know the time she has remaining in the nest is quickly coming to a close. I plan on making her a quilt, too-and I have a feeling I'll have to use a permanent marker for the inscription so our tears don't wash the words away:)

    You are a wonderful beautiful mom,B, just like those quilts you made for your wonderful, beautiful girls. xx

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  33. As I was reading this I got a lump in my throat. I just made 3 quilts for my 3 youngest daughters who now live in Texas together. All are not married but living there away from their dad and I. I made the quilts for the sole purpose that if they need their mom all they have to do is wrap themselves in the quilt and they'll feel my love. It's hard to let them go and after raising 11 kiddies, I'm still having a real problem with that :)

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  34. Youre a great mom, Buttons.

    Im sitting on a couch right now, watching caesar millan train people with their dogs, while my baby sleeps on the other end.

    test came up negative for compartments - more tests coming - but good news, no surgery :)

    love your mom love quilts...do plushie blankets from Kohls count from a feral mom? LOL

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  35. That is so wonderful. What a truly great feeling to know you're kids are happy and doing well. I know how sometimes that mom instinct can kick in and cause just the teensiest bit of worry. I'm happy that you had a good trip and are coming home feeling reassured.

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  36. You know I never had children, but you are such a wonderful writer that I felt every one of your emotions and understood you so well.

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  37. I'm sure your girls treasure those quilts! I know that I treasure the one that my Grandma made me...and someday maybe I'll have one from my Mom too. Things like that are the absolute best!!

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  38. Beautiful post. As a daughter and not a mother, yet, sometimes we need our moms just as much as they need us. Such a beautiful relationship you have with them and such honesty in this post. I didn't find out how much my mom missed me when I went to college until years after I'd graduated. Moms are so tough on the outside and soft, gentle creatures on the inside. xoxo!

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  39. Awww, I got a little choked up reading that. Glad you were able to put your mom worries at ease. You've done an excellent job with your girls and now you can relax a little and enjoy them. :)

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  40. That is such an exciting reassurance that all is well. You did good, Mom!

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  41. It is so, because you raised them well. I love the idea of the quilts.

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  42. This was such a beautiful post...and those quilts sound so lovely.

    To know that you care must be such a joy in their lives.

    Jen

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  43. It's lovely to read your girls and you are doing ok. I remember you doing those quilts :) Hugs M xox

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  44. What a heartwarming story. Must feel so good to know you raised your girls right..

    Hugs~

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  45. i think if you're a mother and you don't worry on occasion, there's probably something wrong with you.

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The mind grows by what it feeds on. J.G. Holland

Thank you so much for your comments, they mean more to me then I could ever express. Hug B

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