Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Facing Fears!

 Those nervous persons who may be terrified by imaginary dangers
   are often courageous in the face of real danger.
                              Henry Havelock Ellis


 Dealing with those normal stresses of haying, machinery breakdowns and other issues one Saturday afternoon we rushed to bale the last of a field of hay at the back of the farm and then chose to leave the final now cut four fields of hay drying till Sunday afternoon because we were invited to a party and we decided we would attend because we needed a distraction in our routine.

This was not just any party it was an outdoor party with a live band and the promise of things we had never seen. This was going to be fun. Not only was it someplace we had never been, surrounded with people I may have never met and with my head full of the thoughts of those last four fields of hay waiting to be baled the next day which would finally end our very long haying season I was naturally excited. It was going to be a great celebration and we really needed to get our minds off things we had to face later on in the coming weeks.

As soon as we drove up the beautiful long lane way I knew this was going to be something that I was never going to forget. There was a rock band made of round bales waiting to greet us and a helicopter sitting in the field. Helicopters have always fascinated me but at the same time always terrified me, something I have always wanted to do but never wanted to do. This had been an especially stressful week and I told My Hero I would love to go up in one someday knowing it would cost too much and that would be the end of this conversation.


We parked the Jeep, and we immediately walked over to this flying beautiful machine and My Hero asked the nice lady “Hello, how much for a ride?” “$50” I knew I was safe as we did not bring that much money. I was shocked when My Hero pulled out his wallet and opened it up and handed the lady his I was saving this to buy a ladder at my next auction, money. This touched my heart and then I knew I had to do it, this was his gift to me. I felt that hidden sense of bravery he always managed to pull from me and that familiar overwhelming feeling of love for this man and knew I could do this; I felt a gripping fear and thought I was going to pass out. There were four sets of couples in front of me in the line. My eyes darted back and forth much like a caged animal trying to find an escape from this place I found myself caught.

We chatted lightheartedly with an older friend named Wen who also happened to be going up alone and this would also be his first time, he was very excited at the idea, this made me a little less nervous and since My Hero was not going to go at least I knew I would not be going alone and it was decided Wen would sit in the front where I was positive it would be very hard not to notice the ground below. This would allow me to sit comfortably or in other words cower in the back seat. I would be able to close my eyes and pretend it was one of those horrible rides at the amusement park that you went on to impress someone and closed your eyes tight, hoping you did not throw up and wished it was over without looking like a coward in the end.


The last couple climbed into the helicopter and it took off into the clear blue sky and then my legs started to shake. The nice lady told us the rules; wait till she lead Wen to the door and when she returned she would walk me to the back door and shut the door after I had buckled up my seat belt. I stood under the roar of blades so close to my head I could feel the down draft pulling my hair and my body started to shake, I then turned and managed to pulled out a smile for My Hero who was smiling and watching me, and l was pretty sure I convinced him this was truly what I wanted to do and could not wait. I’d hoped he could not see my body shaking and if he did notice maybe think it was just the cool wind from those blades making me shiver.


 I watched as the nice lady loaded Wen then she came back for me, I wanted to run but My Hero looked so happy that I was finally doing something I always wanted to do, something that I was probably never going to really do, and I could never disappoint him. After all he paid his I was saving this to buy a ladder at my next auction, money. I walked over climbed in and buckled my seat belt without a word. I snapped a photo of myself smiling to show My Hero later. (Little did I know fear truly does show on your face), I pulled on the headphones and then waved at My Hero. I closed my eyes and off we went I could feel the movement much like a plane take off something I have never gotten used to, but straight up. My left hand was gripping the bar in front of me while my right hand held my camera. We were in the air for what felt like a long time and I could hear Wen and the pilot talking calmly about the view of farms and fields, suddenly I felt safe I opened my eyes. I could see that we were not far from where we started.


It was incredible the first thing I seen was a beautiful tiny barn surrounded by fields of round bales little teeny tiny round bales, I was thinking this was not as bad as I had always imagined, then the pilot turned right, this had my face looking straight down to the teeny tiny trees and ground with only a thin plate of glass between me and it. I clamped my eyes shut. I could still hear the soothing calm voices and conversation of the pilot and Wen through the head phones I was wearing. I opened my eyes once again, it was so incredibly beautiful, but I could still feel this fear bubbling up in my chest I swallowed hard and snapped photos and did the best I could to enjoy this incredible gift.


We turned once again and once again I found myself with only that piece of glass between me and that hard beautiful ground below. We were now looking down to see that beautiful house and lake where we had started from and the tiny faces of the ones we left back on the ground. The helicopter touched down. I said thank you and then hung up my headphones. The nice lady came over and opened my door.

Anyone who knows me would understand that I constantly chatter on no matter what. This was honestly such a deep rooted fear that had kept me speechless for the whole ride but I had conquered it. I ran to hug My Hero, once I was safe in his arms, I looked up to see My Hero’s smiling face and knew at that very moment no matter what lie ahead for us that as long as I had him by my side I could get through anything. I then thought about how he gave up a possible auction ladder for me and smiled.


These last few weeks had me facing a couple of fears; one being my fear of heights and flying inside a helicopter which I chose to face head on, probably with the required bravery brought on by the fear of the unknown one which I had not chosen and had to face later that week. I will talk about that one on Friday.

Later


45 comments:

  1. How wonderful that you were able to face your fears!

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  2. Amaz ing! Your hero is a very special man. Glad to hear that haying is almost over...sounds like you got a lot this year. Love the photos.

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  3. Wow! What an adventure you had and a surprise. You did well to face your fear, well done. Hugs M xox

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  4. I didn't realize you ran with the in crowd, B. Helicopters and rock bands. You go girl!

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  5. Wow! How fun! I have not had a chopper ride in a long time...I won't say HOW long, but I think Bush the Elder was President back then. Yikes, that's a long time ago.

    I am so happy for you that you were aboe to overcome your fear and enjoy the ride. I knew you would, especially since you took your camera with you. I knew you couldn't resist a chance at some aerial photography.

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  6. Great news on facing your fears and gorgeous views.

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  7. B this inspires me to conquer my fear of heights :-)

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  8. Wow, what an adventure!!
    Your a girl much braver than me :)

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  9. WOOHOO ! good for you ! Lovely photos and post ! I love being in a helicopter or a small plane ! I have been in both and it was amazing the view was spectacular of the country side ! Congrats on conquering your fear ! Have a good day !

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  10. You are a brave girl indeed and your Hero is a generous man to give up a potential 'auction ladder'.

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  11. Those are great photos Buttons.

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  12. Woohoo...good for you!! I am terrified of heights too, Buttons, but it would be so neat to see things from that perspective! What beautiful farm land!

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  13. what a great experience - made even better by the sacrifice of the 'ladder money'. :)

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  14. How wonderful! So glad you took us along also. Love the quote

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  15. oh buttons, i was excited for you as i read this! such beautiful views! your hero gave you a lifetime of memories in this one little trip! :)

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  16. What a wonderful gift!

    Amazing the things we do for those we love. You gave each other a gift this day.

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  17. Way to face down your fear! I'll guess you are right about never forgetting that experience. What a view you must have had. An adventure like that is on my list. Hope I get a chance to do the same sometime. I'm also guessing there will be time to save up another handful of cash for that ladder.

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  18. You were very brave and strong to face your fear and go up in the helicopter. They scare me as well. My hands were sweating while I read your post.

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  19. B,

    This party was one you both really needed to go to....just to get away from the farm. Sometimes you just need to make time for you and your Hero.

    Your Hero gave up the idea of buying yet another ladder at an auction to give you a gift from his heart. What a sweet and thoughtful man.

    The comment you made near the end of your post "I ran to hug my Hero, once I was safe in his arms, I looked up to see my Hero's smiling face and knew at that very moment no matter what lie ahead for us that as long as I had him by my side I could get through anything" brought tears to my eyes.

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  20. Good for you, B!! What an inspiration you are to face your fear of heights and the helicopter. And what a sweet, sweet gesture by your Hero. Those are great photos. So glad you got to experience that ride. :-)

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  21. I have that same fear and faced it once by going in single engine place from Princeton, NJ to Kennedy airport, close to Manhattan and all that. And once we left Kennedy, I had to go back to Princeton in that same little tiny one engine plane. Never again, said I. So, dear Button, GOOD FOR YOU! I hope this worked better for you than it did for me in overcoming your fear. If not, at least you faced it and that is a brave thing to do.

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  22. Flying in a helicopter is awesome. If you want something freaky, land on a ship! You see the tine ship from above and you think NEVER.

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  23. Oh what a thrilling adventure. And you did it. Also what a wonderful hero you have to have given you this chance. So often when I am suddenly given the opportunity unexpected to do things I fear a bit I back down. Would have been concerned about money and made so many excuses why I shouldn't or couldn't. What an amazing view on the country side you were given. Thanks for sharing.

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  24. How absolutely grand! A change in perspective is a good thing sometimes, especially when it's from high above. Good for you!

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  25. Oh wow. What an experience! How awesome that you went up.

    I love the hay bale rock band.

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  26. So awesome that you faced your fears! And you've got a sweet hubby for sure :) Love the rock band from hay bales!

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  27. Great pics from the helicopter! I love to fly. The scenery is amazing! How SWEET on your Hero to do this for you. What a guy! Ladders come and go, but helicopter rides? :)

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  28. It is a scary thing, when you don't know what to expect. When I got the chance for a helicopter ride, I kinda felt the same way but truly loved it once we got in the air and didn't want the ride to end.

    Hugs as you face your other fears, whatever they may be.

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  29. Buttons, that is SOOOOO cool!!!!!

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  30. What a sweet hubby to spend his ladder money on a helicopter ride for you. So glad you went and faced your fears.

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  31. I love that your Hero sacrificed his ladder money so that you could have a ride in the helicopter! For being afraid, you took some great pictures. I always love seeing farms and fields from the air all laid out. :)

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  32. I think I know how you feel. Last summer I said yes to a bi-plane ride never dreaming it would become real. BUT... it did. I managed to go beyond my fear and had an incredible experience. Sometimes you just have to walk on the wild side!

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  33. Good girl Buttons ...great job !! Love your ariel shots too. Check that off the bucket list with a big smile.
    Umm ... Fridays sounds a teeny bit worrisome but I will check back hoping for the best !

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  34. What a beautiful, funny, touching and poignant post! I have never been in a helicopter and know I'd probably experience the same emotions you did. So brave you are to go through it. I love when the unexpected happens and it leave us smiling. Your hero is such a sweetheart xoxo!

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  35. I love your blog. I haven't known you long enough to have said that before but today, I know I do.

    What a fabulous read, wonderful topic and such a loving couple as I ever hope to see , you and your husband. I love that you faced your fears and that you got through this with all the right thoughts. :-)

    Loved the rock band too. You are a delight.

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  36. It makes me laugh, what people do with round hay bales...fun and cute! Love your photos of the countryside; they are beautiful, especially this time of year.

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  37. You rock b!! What an awesome experience, one you will never forget!!

    Hug that hero twice tonight ;)

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  38. Yep, I would've been scared too. So cool you faced and overcame it! You go girl!

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  39. Good for you, Buttons! How super of your husband to allow you that experience!

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  40. oh gosh, those hay bales are cute!! and you are a brave girl!

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  41. I tend to chatter on too when I'm nervous so I totally relate. I'm so glad you "got" to do this. I have never been in a helicopter! You are brave and you put others first... without losing yourself or being a martyr. That is why good stuff comes back to you...and it always will. Whatever you tell us next week, have no fear. You live surrounded by blessings, caring, and love. Sandra

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  42. Buttons, the brave butterfly ! :)


    XOXOX

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  43. Congratulations! I know this fear and it is a big one...I'm glad you were able to get through it.

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  44. OH my stars... How exciting and scary all at the same time. I would have been just like you. I would love to go up someday. We shall see.

    Hugs~

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  45. Facing fear head on, especially since you knew your beloved, your hero, paid dearly for this privilege. Love, true love, is what makes us brave in the presence of fear. I know this to be true. You are so richly blessed to have your hero, and I suspect, he is richly blessed to have you.

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The mind grows by what it feeds on. J.G. Holland

Thank you so much for your comments, they mean more to me then I could ever express. Hug B

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