And the heart that is soonest awake to the flowers,
Is always the first to be touche’d by the thorns.
Things are getting rather busy around here and I have no idea now with the snow finally starting to melt, how everything that needs to be done will get done. A list runs through my head constantly keeping me up at night. I watch the girls waddle around carefully maneuvering around the patches of ice that dot the field most every morning. I would like to get this calving thing under way but I have no control over that. It will happen when it happens. The girls do not seem to be in any hurry making me wonder, do they not know how much I have to do. Come on already. I check them twice a day watching for signs, nothing yet except for big bellies and waddling. I am sure that will change very quickly.
I continue to enjoy those increasingly fewer stolen moments in the bush, there is still a lot of snow hiding the secrets of the winter but it is starting to get increasingly wet back there uncovering those secrets. Early mornings I try to walk through checking for signs of spring but as of yet there does not appear to be too many. There are signs of the fall still clinging to the trees and I wonder when those old leaves that clung all winter will be pushed to the ground, I am amazed at their strength to hold on after this long hard winter. Our lives are somewhat similar we have to hold on no matter what and believe things will work out and life will continue to move along just like it has always done.
I look at photos of the snowbanks pushed to the side of the long lane way melting away and think of just how many times this winter I have had to phone My Hero defeated and ready to give up. I would listen to his calming reassuring voice talk me through getting unstuck and I continued to find myself stuck in the middle of a snowbank that appeared magically while I slept over and over. I did not think I could do it and I was getting so tired of trying. My Hero always believed that I could and I have to say I am very skilled in the art of using a differential lock and the bucket of the tractor to get myself out of those situations. It is nice when someone believes in you more than you believe in yourself.
If nothing else winter has taught me patience, stamina and to believe in my own strength after a winter that kept slapping me down. Those days where I thought I could not get through something that seemed insurmountable and just wanted to give up I did find that strength I needed buried deep inside to push myself through and get what needed to be done, done. It has been a very long winter and I am now waiting for spring calves and the new challenges that come with that. Every season brings different challenges on the farm and sometimes life off the farm piles more on, this year it had really piled it on, much like the snow kept piling up so did life’s problems. Lots and lots of both continually trying to keep me buried, but I made it through.
The sun is coming up and the girls are waiting, I can see them looking for me, so I should get moving. I never know what lies beyond that door when I venture out into the world every morning but I do know I can get through anything if I never lose sight of the fact that there is a hidden strength that everyone of us has buried and waiting till it is truly needed. All we have to do when we fall to the ground is pull ourselves up and continue on as best we can.