Monday, August 18, 2014

Hat Tricks and Goodbyes!

We are restless because of incessant change,
but we would be frightened if change were stopped.
                  Lyman Lloyd Bryson


My Mom turned 86 on Friday and I find myself wondering how she got through all those monumental moments in her life. Thinking back she seemed to have handled everything very well at least as far as I could tell. One by one her children moved on into their adult lives making their own choices and living with those choices, some good and some, well not so much. 

Oh yes one by one, she watched them walk out the door heading into the unknown. I only have two children and cannot imagine how tough that was for my Mom having so many children to say goodbye to. Did she have a secret bag of tricks to get through those emotions that go along with saying those goodbyes? Constantly waving goodbye to those children that you had brought into this world nurturing and teaching and hoping that you taught them all they needed to know to get through the changes of life.


I have been knitting like crazy most evenings while I should be sleeping I suppose, filling a bag of hats. Fretting over what I have to do, or have forgotten to do, or have to remember to do before this wedding. Most of this is needless worry I have be assured by many others who have been there, but I still cannot get past those I have no real control moments, like the weather for instance. Is there more to this emotional thing than that planning and worrying about the actual big event?

Does it have more to do with the fact I am saying goodbye to a daughter, a daughter that I have seen through all those highs and lows that go along with living in this modern world of ours. Watching her grow up to be that intelligent independent woman who I knew did not really need me anymore but now knowing that she has someone else to share her ups and downs with. Could this be what it is really all about? Am I mourning the loss of something I know, to be replaced by something I don’t? I do realize I am gaining the most incredible son something I am so looking forward to yet I still feel a sense of loss.


Still to this day my Mom walks around with a smile most of the time and still laughs out loud when her children get together to reminisce about our childhood stories and adventures. She and we all love those wonderful memories that she had given us so freely long ago. Unconditional love and sometimes unbelievable memories that still remain to this day no matter what road had been travelled by every one of her children. She never talks about those goodbyes she had to say over and over, only those good moments that came from all those goodbyes.

Thanks Mom for showing me the way to handle all the changes and thank you for teaching me how to knit. Could that have been your secret bag of tricks? I do remember that there were always bags of hats, mittens and socks. Yes indeed I am pretty sure that was the secret. I love you Mom.


I am going to have to say goodbye to you my blogger family for a couple of weeks to prepare for that big “goodbye” to my own daughter. I know you all understand.  Do know that when I return I am sure I will be sharing a story or two about the wedding day event and obviously tales of hats. Bossy2 will be so pleased, oh and yes before I forget to tell you Bossy2 and all the girls are invited to the wedding, we shall see who shows up and what they thought of the whole thing.

Take care of yourselves while I am gone and I will see you all soon. HUGS B

Later


59 comments:

  1. It almost sounds like the empty nest syndrome. Saying goodbye is never easy but there will be more Hellos. I wish you a great wedding day with lots of good memories.
    Got to go a heifer is calving.
    Hugs,
    JB

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  2. I can identify a little bit, thinking of my oldest graduating from high school! I hope all goes well with the wedding...I'm sure it will!

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  3. I only had 2 to say goodbye to, but daughter, from the time she was a little thing, always said she was never leaving home. By the time she was 27 I was really beginning to believe her. When she got married they lived across the street from me so that wasn't too bad. Son was another story. He moved out of state. It isn't easy saying goodbye but we always manage to let them fly away.

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  4. I loved this. I guess I should have known how to knit so that I could have slept the week before my daughter's wedding. :-) May the next days and weeks be filled to the brim with wonderful memories and a beautiful wedding! Plan as well as you can, but then just enjoy the day. Blessings to you all!

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  5. What a great post! I love the photo of your mother's hand (I'm assuming it's hers) and the thoughts that go with letting go of your daughter's hand as she marries her love. You will be fine and the day will be a celebration of love and joy. Even the cows will dance. :) Blessings and hugs to you as you do the final preparations for the big day. All the best. Pam

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  6. There is the element of goodbye along with all the excitement . . . The "nest" is changing . . . there is no doubt. I think the "going forth" into the new life will always contain some of the "used to be."
    Knitting helps foster the memories of . . .
    Birth
    First smiles
    Walking
    Family happenings
    School, college, on and on . . .
    And now a wedding . . . marriage life beginnings.
    Wishing you sweet days and a happy heart . . .

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  7. It is hard saying goodbye, but at the same time you are thrilled for their new independence. So, your feelings are mixed and it's a difficult transition. Here's best wishes for you to come out of the other side with peace.

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  8. Be calm...

    Try to Enjoy, a lot more than Stress...

    Enjoying adds to life... Stressing, takes away from it...

    Enjoy...

    Gentle hugs,
    Tessa~

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  9. Enjoy that send off with your daughter B.
    I know I can tend to be an unstoppable worrier at times , so frustrating , thats when I know I have to take to nature for a while.
    Your hats are looking pretty amazing , no idle hands with knitting . Beautiful hats , truly look warm and cozy and inviting !
    Hugs,
    Willow

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  10. enjoy that celebration! i know you will!

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  11. Grace girl ... take this time to enjoy this very happy occasion !!
    Remember to take good care of yourself some how too with all of the confusion and activity.
    The VERY best wishes for you and your daughter on her wedding day !!
    Joy : )

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  12. I have been there, Buttons. We mothers of the bride have some uncommon behaviors when faced with the wedding of a daughter. I certainly know what it is like, and send along my best wishes for a really good time ahead. xo Nellie

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  13. Take the time you need, my friend! Your posts about your mom are always so moving to me. Hugs!

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  14. I think it's very natural to feel a sadness about your daughter getting married, while also feeling great joy that she's moving toward a new adventure. I'm glad that the knitting helps you with your feelings--I'm finding it helps me too!

    Enjoy, enjoy the fun and joy!! I can't wait to hear about it. :-)

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  15. We will miss you! but take the time and enjoy it. It will all be okay.

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  16. A nice tribute to your mum and I'm sure your daughters will say the same things about you. Worry doesn't make things better. Just go with the flow and enjoy yourself at the wedding. It is sad to see them go but then it is also satisfying to see them independent and having their own family. They will never really leave your heart or your life even when they live on the other side of the world.

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  17. Thats a lot of hats.

    good thing you dont know how to knit long johns...

    xoxo

    ps - it will be fantastically wonderful!

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  18. Enjoy the planning, preparations and the unfortunately the goodbye, but think down the road, grandchildren at some point. We will miss you and look forward to you returning to blogland when the time is right for you. I have so enjoyed all your writings and your wonderful photos especially your cows and the knitted hats. "Hugs"

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  19. Enjoy the wedding! I know what you mean about the goodbyes to children. Mine aren't married but they are out in the big world and independent.

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  20. Have a good blogging break :) I hope the wedding is beautiful and amazing, and I wish them a lifetime of love and happiness!

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  21. I have only one plaque on my night stand. It reads, 'the greatest thing you can give your children is roots and wings.'

    Have a wonderful celebration B!

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  22. I do know you are going to shine on the day of the Wedding....enjoy my friend...it's part of life's circle when a child leaves home & or gets married....hugs M xox

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  23. Enjoy your blog break! I wish you and your family all the best as you prepare for the wedding. Have a wonderful time celebrating the special day!

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  24. A happy belated birthday to your Mom!
    I wish your daughter and new son in law all happiness as they begin their journey of marriage.
    And Buttons? Don't forget to breathe! All will be well!

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  25. i predict the most outstanding weddine Ever, I understand how you feel it's normal to see a child grow up, learn because the best person theycan be...I know the wedding will be sensational, beautiful, with lots of laughter and of course, many tearsjust know the your daughter will be so happy, and the rest, really irrelevant, so you go Girl!
    You are the B. with the most

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  26. Have a wonderful time. I hope you do share stories with us when you get back.
    It is a time of letting go and yes, even mourning. It is good though. I go through all of that every time, whether it is off to school or off to a new job or any of the other firsts.
    It is good to take time and think about them as you do as you knit hats.
    There is something good about working with our hands and thinking.
    Your stories about your Mom are so precious.
    Have a lovely time. You will be missed.

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  27. sorry about all the typos i have wedding cake on my mind, yum maybe some chocolate caramel concoction....lol have a great time
    Hug B!

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  28. I do hope that the day turns out perfect - but it will, because your daughter is setting off on a new adventure and I am sure you gave her lots of good tools to use on her way. Love, humor, compassion. She will always be your daughter. Looking forward to your 'return'... xoxo

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  29. We'll all be here...waiting for the pictures and the stories....best wishes to the new family...remember, there may be grandchildren to say 'hello' to one of these days.
    It will be a beautiful day no matter what the weather.

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  30. I heard a sweet song today and thought of you.
    It's called Westmeath Auction by Terry McLeish. It's available on YouTube.

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  31. B,

    Time is moving by so fast, before you know it the wedding will be here. Your daughter is starting a new chapter in her life with her marriage, and you'll be inheriting a new son. This is a beautiful time in a daughters life, being able to share her special day with you, and your Hero at your farm.
    Enjoy this time, don't worry about us. When you come back we can't wait to see pictures.
    Love to you and your Hero.
    Sandy

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  32. Hugs! What a wonderful occasion you have to say goodbye for! I am sure it will be truly beautiful! See you soon

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  33. Wonderful words! I am glad you will be devoting your time to this special occasion. It's really not a goodbye. A daughter is a daughter always.

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  34. Ahh...it isn't always easy to be the one flying the nest either! I hope the wedding is delightful and brings you the happiest of memories xxxx

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  35. You will survive! I completely understand. Hope your daughters wedding goes off perfectly. My daughter's went very well. All the work is tiring but in the end it all works out. Can't wait to see photos.

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  36. Best wishes for a smooth wedding day! I am already looking forward to a few pictures. ENJOY it all!!!

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  37. I LOVE your hats! I'm knitting hats at the moment, but they are not as grand as yours. Have a happy wedding.

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  38. I hope it is a glorious day and wonderful wedding. Having 2 married daughters, I can tell you that the relationship is still wonderful, just different. But we did raise them with the goal of their independence, and aren't we happy that they do turn into adults that no longer need us in a child-like way, but in another special way. Congratulations to you all.

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  39. It's not always easy to accept change, Buttons, but it will all turn out well. It must be getting very exciting at you place right now!

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  40. hugs buttons and happy birthday to your sweet mama :)

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  41. Oh, Buttons, I know that feeling - the goodbyes are so hard, aren't they? I, also, think of my Mother and Grandmother's who had to say goodbye to so many. It is a connection in a way - this sharing of goodbye's. But we have to look ahead and think of all the wonderful hello's and the promise of new families to share those sweet moments and memories with. You will be exhausted in the next few weeks, but it will be a happy exhaustion - a whirlwind - don't forget to take some photos no matter how busy you are. Congratulations and many blessings for the special day! Hugs xo Karen

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  42. Wonderful post. I wish you the most wonderful next two weeks AND that special day. You done good! Sandra

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  43. Good luck with everything.

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  44. Thoughts and prayers go with you!!! Hope all those cows and calves behave at the wedding - no munching on the cake till after the bride and groom get there...

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  45. Here's to a FABULOUS day of LOVE for your entire family!

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  46. wishing your mom a happy belated birthday, and i look forward to seeing captures of the joyous occasion! wish i could be there myself to hide out and snap a few! :D

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  47. Congratulations Button. Becoming a MIL can be daunting but mostly wonderful. As for all those goodbyes, I have always told my loved ones that they must leave so they can come back. All the life lessons on the way make us better individuals, I'm sure.
    Have a beautiful wedding day with your daughter. New memories to make more smiles. Can't wait to hear all about it.

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  48. You'll do just fine, besides look at everything you'll gain. :)

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  49. This post is so perfect for me. I'm having a rough time lately. My parents are 79 and it's showing. My nieces are no longer little, and I'm having those empty nest feelings, since 1) I'm STILL living in this basement room and 2) they are at the age where they don't want to hang out with their Aunt (family) anymore. They prefer friends. The times they are a changin.....it's hard. I might be e-mailing you!

    Cindy Bee

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  50. Saying bye is never easy but knitting is wonderful therapy...

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  51. I hope you are enjoying yourself, and that the wedding is splendid! I'm sure it will be.

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  52. Glad to know that thing are going well for you, and your mom. I hope you have a wonderful time with the wedding!

    Blessings and Bear hugs!

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  53. You have made me cry today. I am having such a difficult time with my mom right now, but as my nest keeps changing her life still evolves as well.I have to remember that.

    Marlyn

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  54. Well it must be wedding time. Have fun and enjoy. Your mom did just fine raising you and you probably did just fine raising yours. Now it is time to let go.

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  55. Your daughter will always be just that...your daughter...and if you are fortunate enough to have a son-in-law like ours you will be twice blessed.
    Your mother is very precious and I am so glad she taught you to knit and those hats....wonderful. Not sure I could do them now with my hands the way they are.
    I only had the two children and was saddened when they left the nest but knowing they had to make their own way in life is the important thing. Both have been reasonably successful which pleases me and I hope their upbringing in some way helped bring that about.
    Best wishes for all your wedding plans. I am sure all will go well and look forward to reading about it and also which of the 'herd' turn up to join in. All the best and look forward to your return and the news.

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  56. Can't wait to hear all about the wedding. And yes..your fretting is mostly about letting go- or at least it was that way with me. But..as they say, a son is a son until he marries a wife, but a daughter is a daughter for the rest of your life. I LOVE your hats...very cool! I bought yarn, and it is still sitting in the sack. LOL I am one lazy granny.

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The mind grows by what it feeds on. J.G. Holland

Thank you so much for your comments, they mean more to me then I could ever express. Hug B

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