We are restless because of incessant change,
but we would be frightened if change were stopped.
Lyman Lloyd Bryson
My Mom turned 86 on Friday and I find myself wondering how she got through all those monumental moments in her life. Thinking back she seemed to have handled everything very well at least as far as I could tell. One by one her children moved on into their adult lives making their own choices and living with those choices, some good and some, well not so much.
Oh yes one by one, she watched them walk out the door heading into the unknown. I only have two children and cannot imagine how tough that was for my Mom having so many children to say goodbye to. Did she have a secret bag of tricks to get through those emotions that go along with saying those goodbyes? Constantly waving goodbye to those children that you had brought into this world nurturing and teaching and hoping that you taught them all they needed to know to get through the changes of life.
I have been knitting like crazy most evenings while I should be sleeping I suppose, filling a bag of hats. Fretting over what I have to do, or have forgotten to do, or have to remember to do before this wedding. Most of this is needless worry I have be assured by many others who have been there, but I still cannot get past those I have no real control moments, like the weather for instance. Is there more to this emotional thing than that planning and worrying about the actual big event?
Does it have more to do with the fact I am saying goodbye to a daughter, a daughter that I have seen through all those highs and lows that go along with living in this modern world of ours. Watching her grow up to be that intelligent independent woman who I knew did not really need me anymore but now knowing that she has someone else to share her ups and downs with. Could this be what it is really all about? Am I mourning the loss of something I know, to be replaced by something I don’t? I do realize I am gaining the most incredible son something I am so looking forward to yet I still feel a sense of loss.
Still to this day my Mom walks around with a smile most of the time and still laughs out loud when her children get together to reminisce about our childhood stories and adventures. She and we all love those wonderful memories that she had given us so freely long ago. Unconditional love and sometimes unbelievable memories that still remain to this day no matter what road had been travelled by every one of her children. She never talks about those goodbyes she had to say over and over, only those good moments that came from all those goodbyes.
Thanks Mom for showing me the way to handle all the changes and thank you for teaching me how to knit. Could that have been your secret bag of tricks? I do remember that there were always bags of hats, mittens and socks. Yes indeed I am pretty sure that was the secret. I love you Mom.
I am going to have to say goodbye to you my blogger family for a couple of weeks to prepare for that big “goodbye” to my own daughter. I know you all understand. Do know that when I return I am sure I will be sharing a story or two about the wedding day event and obviously tales of hats. Bossy2 will be so pleased, oh and yes before I forget to tell you Bossy2 and all the girls are invited to the wedding, we shall see who shows up and what they thought of the whole thing.
Take care of yourselves while I am gone and I will see you all soon. HUGS B