Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Night Thoughts!

In her starry shade of dim and solitary loveliness,
I learn the language of the world.
                   George Gordon Byron (Lord Byron)


The view is incredible tonight, after many nights of pitch darkness this slip of a moon casts shadows and light on the barn. No clouds tonight, only brilliant light that makes it worth sitting up for.

Why is it that the thoughts that you managed to push away all day come tracking you down only to consume your night? Oh yes there are many of us right this very moment, 2 a.m. who are wondering the same thing. I have no doubt about that. Oh this view is incredible. That old barn is so lovely covered in dark shadows and brilliant light that dance, skirting around each other, much like life itself.

I settle in for yet another one of those night thought times. Sitting upon my Dad’s old quilt protecting the old blue chair below, I wrap Mom’s knitted squares afghan around my shoulders enjoying the view. Letting those thoughts come as they may. I rather enjoy this time, letting all those thoughts that I had jammed into one big jar, giving them a shake then pouring them out. There is no way to tell what will come of it.

Visiting Mom yesterday, we are laughing, giggling and singing silly songs I snuggle close to her. I tease her about her choice of tops today; she laughs and tells me she likes it. “You’re so warm, how is everybody?” This is her "go to" statement when she is not sure who you are, I believe. I do not care, I know who she is and I take every moment like this and save it for the days when she will only be sleeping. It’s a good day.

Pearly walks in closely followed by brother Donny.  Pearly has a brown paper bag. “I am back Mom, I have brought your soup” I stand up and help Mom over to the table. She does not hesitate. Pearly has turned this into a weekly ritual and I think Mom knows what is coming. You see, the little corner store makes homemade soup where niece T cooks and the soup is delicious. The couple who own the store know it is for our Mom and takes the time to make it very special. 

Donny, Pearly and I watch as Mom eats that soup like it was the best thing she has ever had. The three of us talk and watch. We are a bit noisy, and I know Mom, being used to all that noise when we were ten little ones running around under foot is comfortable with that. I look over to Mom she is smiling and eating. This whole eating thing has been a problem. Alzheimer’s does that.


The soup is gone and she grabs the lemon tart. At brother Donny’s suggestion, she takes a spoon and digs into the lemony goodness, a smile on her face. Donny’s face has a smile just as big. We all love this time. This little woman ate everything, and then she grabs a pastry that was sitting beside her and ate it too.
Oh I wish I could describe the joy that brought to me and my siblings.


The night thoughts are calm and soothing tonight, the view of shadows and light dancing off the barn are so incredible. I pull that knitted afghan tighter and enjoy these wonderful night thoughts never knowing what will come tomorrow night.


Later


39 comments:

  1. A joyful post, Buttons. It was a special gathering with your mom, and all was well.

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  2. So happy, for these happy times...

    To hold onto and savor, when the not-so-perfect-days, happen.

    Gentle hugs...

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  3. Sweet day with your mom- you have such a way with words- you sprinkle love all throughout the story, and I know every single thought came straight from your heart. Blessings!

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  4. How lucky you are to be able to enjoy these times with your mother. I can feel the love she must have for her children and her family and I can feel the love that they have for her.

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  5. Left me in teary eyes . . . Happy for your day yet sad for the realities.
    Brings back memories . . .
    I think the consistency with the visits, soup, chatter and laughter is very good for "mom."

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  6. So glad you had a good time with your mom...and she ate well....a special memory for you to keep.

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  7. Good that you can have happy days with your Mum.

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  8. oh, so sweet. relish those good days.

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  9. Your writing is mesmerizing and heartfelt B ~
    I love the way it brings us right in on what you share with us.
    Your mom is so well loved , that is still such a great blessing she can feel .

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  10. What a lovely visit with your mom. And so good to know you have sisters and brothers to share in her care and your visits. I feel the love in this post.

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  11. So glad you had a nice visit. The soup and tarts sound just perfect!

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  12. awwww buttons, this is so sweet. I am so happy it was a nice visit for everyone. I LOVE the way you describe the night, your words are perfecto!!!! and the images are beautiful. thanks to that amazing eye you have.....

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  13. I love those misty photos, especially the second one!!!

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  14. You written a lovely post of a good visit with your mom and siblings. You are quite right. One would treasure these moments. I know what you mean of those nights with thoughts. I have been there many times. :-)) enjoyed your lovely images.

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  15. Buttons, I always enjoy your posts but I think the word images you use in this one are especially beautiful ... like cramming those thoughts into a jar and then shaking it to see which ones come out. I really like that image. Beautiful night photos too!

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  16. Such a loving family, Buttons. If I can tame my mind in the early hours, I love it, too.

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  17. Precious night time moments. Thank you for sharing this special time with your mum. I love the photo of her hand as she dips into the lemon tart. Hugs. Pam

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  18. What a wonderful visit with your mother and siblings. Good thoughts for remembering in the wee morning hours when sleep won't come. xo Nellie

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  19. Such special and precious times with your mum ! Lovely post and night shots are awesome ! Thanks for sharing , have a good day !

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  20. i love your foggy shots. so pretty. very peaceful. ( :
    is it ok that i am drooling over that lemon tart. yum!! i have not had one in years. so good i bet. yes?

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  21. Always try to keep those good times in the forefront...a terrible disease...:)JP

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  22. B. I love the way you describe the time spent with your Mom. Very warm and sweet.

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  23. Love the night shots. Been beautiful at night. Cold, clear and starry!
    Sounds like your Mom had a great time with her kids. :) I woulda snuck a bite of that lemon tart! Ha!
    Cheri

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  24. B,

    Beautiful night shots with the moon providing the perfect light.
    Your Mom loves having you kids visit her, and she's adapted to the routine of
    homemade soup once a week. This is something she cherishes.
    Hugs,
    Sandy

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  25. Glad to see mom has her appetite for Christmas!

    Xoxo

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  26. Love the moonlit night and your reverie - good memories of lunch brought to your Mom. Some night thoughts are blessings.

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  27. Ah, Buttons, such a lovely piece of writing! I never tire of reading your stories and your thoughts. My thoughts seems to crowd in at night, too, between 3 and 4 a.m. I wonder what it is that wakes me and gets me thinking?

    So glad you had a good visit with your mother. I'm sure she feels the love that surrounds her. I love the thought that she enjoyed her food while listening to her "noisy" children. :-)

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  28. It is a bittersweet journey, Buttons, this road called Alzheimer's. I know it well....Sleep peacefully tonight under the stars, knowing you are a wonderful daughter. Hugs xo Karen

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  29. With my dad, it was always safe to ask him about the weather...He could always answer that question.

    I am happy for you all, B, that you can find the joys in your time spent with your mom. Your heart is truly a Servants Heart.

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  30. Love that barn pic, Buttons. :-) Reminds me of my grandparents' place.

    Pearl

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  31. Listening to your thoughts today has been heartwarming. xo

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  32. "I do not care. I know who she is." Beautiful.

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  33. Glad you had such a good time with your mom. (If I were you, I wouldn't trust her with pastries. She might have just too much fun.)

    Sleep well, Buttons. Blessings and Bear hugs!

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  34. Thankful for good days as you described with your mom and siblings gathered around. Button up those thoughts and hold them tightly.

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  35. B. Such beautiful writing and I do know what you mean about the dark. I am so glad you got this time with your Mom xxx

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  36. You and your siblings are having such wonderful times with your Mom, and while you may not think she knows you; she does. She knows you in her heart. As you say, you treasure those times--because they make up for the days when she is sleeping while you visit.
    The nights when sleep won't come are a wonderful time to just get lost in our thoughts--or not have any thoughts at all.
    Thank you for your wonderful words and photos, bringing us into your Mom's world.

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  37. Such beautiful night thoughts. I love soup and lemon tarts too... your Mom is very special and it's good how you and your siblings can bring a smile to her face with your treats. Love moments :D)

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The mind grows by what it feeds on. J.G. Holland

Thank you so much for your comments, they mean more to me then I could ever express. Hug B

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