Friday, February 6, 2015

When to call it The Guest Room?

We must not expect simple answers to far-reaching questions.
However far our gaze penetrates,
there are always heights beyond which block our vision.
                                               Alfred North Whitehead


I am pretty sure I am not the only one wondering about an age old question. Those extra bedrooms in your home, you know what I am talking about here. Those ones you have pushed or your children have independently flown from. In our house, we have two of these rooms. When do our children become guests?


 I have pretty much left those two bedrooms the way they were, I have no idea why. I certainly never wanted my girls moving back home once they left, and I had finally adjusted to the advantages of that move, for all of us. That does not mean I do not love them. I am a Mom that believes they had to stand on their own two feet, just like we had to do long ago, to learn to deal with whatever life throws at them. Never an easy thing for any parent to let happen, but that is what I believe. It was difficult and I had many doubts, but I know now that they can handle anything life has in store for them in the future. (If you disagree with this I would not mind hearing about it, everyone has their own ways of parenting and there is no right, or wrong way in this area.)


I think that I left those two rooms the way they were so long for only one reason. My thinking that when they came to visit they would know it was still “home”. That all changed recently. Getting sick of the carpeted floors, those “teenage girl” choice colours, and the constant cleaning of those non-used rooms, and with the promises of beautiful hardwood flooring I began to think differently. This was my chance to possibly have a room where I could sit, to read and to write, possibly a room of my very own. A “guest room” for people that will never need to call this home, but will be comfortable, and it will always feel like home at the time. Would our girls still be able to see it as their home, with all these changes?


Well regardless of any of these questions, we did it, now with one room almost complete and one more to go. Brother Dios, a genius with hardwood flooring, and making it a true work of art has made the first “guest room” an inviting place. With this beautiful new floor, a new paint job, but still those usual decisions to make about “childhood things” left behind, I think this is going to work out just fine. It is beginning to feel like a place anyone could feel at home.


Even with all these beautiful changes, I am still left with these lingering questions: How long should it take for the rooms of your children to be known as the “guest room”? When do those children become your favourite “Guests”? Do any of you know? How long did you wait?


 If anyone out there is looking for a genius with hardwood flooring, in transforming an ordinary room into an actual work of art give me a call; I know just the artist. I am sure some of you will remember those wagons Uncle Dios built and were used at our daughter’s wedding. Genius I tell you. Thanks brother Dios.



 Later


45 comments:

  1. So far, I haven't changed our children's rooms. Our son has even said, "It's fine if you want to redecorate." I think my lack of action has more to do with the fact that other rooms in the house (most notably, the bathrooms) could really use a remodel first. It just seems like such a big, never-ending job to start working on our old farm house. I think, "Why didn't we do this when the kids were little so we could all enjoy it?" This is probably one of those things where I just need to get started. Kudos to you for making the changes! So far, looking good!

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  2. When our kids 'finally' left home and I knew they wouldn't be back to live with us again they were in their mid-20's. Well, son was the boomerang from age 18 to 20-something going from here to Alberta many many times. Our daughter, the eldest, left at 27 for Alberta and I hoped she'd come back but she fell in love and is still there. Which is all good. ;) Son's room is the music room/bed room now and daughter's is the guest room. I had no difficulty changing it, emotionally or physically. It was another room to decorate, which I love to do. I have to be careful not to let the guest room become a catch all for stuff that I have nowhere to store though. And I have to remember to go in there and dust once in a while too. :) I like your hardwood floors. They look beautiful. P.S. the closet in our daughter's room still has boxes of her things stored there!! Next time she's home I'm going to get her to go through them and maybe pitch stuff. It's too much to ship out. Have a great day!

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  3. Yes!!! he is a marvelous worker with wood! those floors are amazing!!!

    my wood working husband would love them!!!!

    I never even thought of what to call a kid's bedroom, when they had left. nor of whether, when they happened to be here for a weekend, if they were still grown children, or guests. never even crossed my mind. if they were home, they slept in their room.

    a couple of them (and family), even had to live here for a while... in between houses... when one house was sold, but the next house, not quite ready to move into. we were the transition "landing pad".

    and when they were all settled, in their "now" homes, we changed the use of the rooms. to what we wanted...

    but... that's just me... just us... :-)

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  4. Gorgeous floors Buttons! I am not a Mom so don't have any input on the kid questions. But I finally made a small room off our kitchen my room... I call it my zen room. I love reading there and playing with pictures and reading blogs. We have one guest room but hardly ever any guests.. :) Enjoy your Thursday!

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  5. Love the new flooring! Beautiful! It was nice when my kids rooms became my rooms to decorate once again! They were spreading their wings and I was enjoying making their rooms mine!

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  6. my room doesn't look like my room anymore. hasn't done so for years. and that's ok. we're all our own people. letting go. it's good for both sides.

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  7. Jealous-JEALOUS of that beautiful floor. I'm thinking visitors, and especially the former residents, will love the upgrade too.

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  8. Hi Buttons - What beautiful floors! I think your daughters (and their SO's) will love them and will feel completely at home. Kudos to Uncle Dios and to you and your Hero for making it happen! :)

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  9. Your floor looks beautiful and warm and inviting and much easier to keep clean than those old carpets dust catcher. I love the natural beauty of the wood. Now you have your own writing den.
    A good topic today...
    We are all children who have left home at one point, mind you I'm an old child.... and I for one never expected that the room was mine when I returned. I always felt very welcome at my parents house and would say, I'm going visit my parents... I guess, now that I think about it, I felt like a very special guest at my parents' house when I went to visit. They are both gone now and the house went to my younger single brother. Things never stays the same.

    Hugs,
    JB

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  10. oh, i want a brother dios!!! beautiful! just beautiful!!!

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  11. Oh. How very, very beautiful.
    I never went home again after I moved out the first time. Over the years 'my' room changed and was repurposed. Just the same I knew that if ever I needed it, it was still home. As I am sure your girls do.

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  12. Beautiful new floors indeed . . .
    Happy you have raised children to be independent, isn't that the greatest joy . . . it is for me.
    I think when I sold "our family" home and moved to a new home, is when the extra rooms became "guest rooms."
    I still have many of my "children's" "things" though, so what does that say about me?????

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  13. Great question! I asked that one myself not that long ago. I left it 2 years to completely redo a bedroom into a guest bedroom. 2 months later they moved back home. How bad did I feel?!?!

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  14. Well Buttons, I don't have children, but I know that wherever my Mom & Dad are, that's home. They moved into a condo a few years ago. I never lived there, but if I needed to spend the night, I could, and it would be home. So not to worry. If you have a bed for them to sleep in, it's still home. Love the hardwood floors. I'm thinking about taking the ash trees on our property and have them planed into hardwood floors. Love that you have a place to write! A room of your own. We all need one. I believe a famous author said that!

    Cindy Bee

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  15. A tough decision B, but I am a firm believer of when it feels right it is usually right. Those floors are beautiful!

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  16. Beautiful! Will he travel to the states? ;)

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  17. Gorgeous floors! When we moved up here two years ago the kids had already left home for college so it was easy to transition the bedrooms in this house to a blend of guest room and their rooms. It seems to be working well - they each have a room with a few things of theirs in them -- but mostly decorated as guest rooms.

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  18. Brother Dios is a genius, and so are you for thinking of hardwood. Can't wait until we can rip up this horrible carpet and replace it.... wonder if he could be persuaded to come down here?
    You and your Hero are there, of course it's still home!

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  19. Oh wow, Buttons...the floor looks great! What a fun project. I'll bet your girls will love the new look when they come to visit!

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  20. Looking good over there.
    Our daughter was in and out several times before she finally settled down. It took a while but now the room she occupied has a new use.

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  21. It's never a guest room ;-) What a fun project!

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  22. Lovely floors , Papa and his dad has done floors like that in their house it is good to have handy do anything men around that's for sure lol ! Our old house was where our kids rooms are we have just one extra room here for when they visits which isn't very often at all as they are hours away to and have busy lives as well lol ! Hey at least you get the fun of re decorating . Thanks for sharing , Have a good weekend !

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  23. Thanks for your thoughtful and lovely comment the other day. I love those floors and I know how much you will enjoy your reading/writing room. You are such a beautiful word crafter, you deserve a dedicated room of your own. Not sure if you mentioned writing above, just reading, still a place for you to be. My husband is also wonderful with wood. Our LA house is gorgeous, but this one was built too much on a slant, so we just went with carpets. No fun with Puppy Faith who arrived, got housebroken, got a bladder infection that lasted a month, you get the picture. Take care, my friend.

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  24. B,

    Gorgeous floors!!! We still have 1 adult child living with us. Once he moves out, we will turn his room into an office for both my husband and myself.

    Hugs,
    Sandy

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  25. The floor is beautiful, love it!
    Lynne x

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  26. Love the floor and the new purpose the rooms have gotten. It looks cozy and amazing!
    When I moved out I took everything I owned with me so my parents had the chance to do with the room whatever they wanted. I don't think they really used it though until they moved out :)
    Hugs for you! Beate

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  27. Beautiful floors, and interesting points to ponder here. It was difficult for me when the last of my 4 moved away, but keeping the rooms as they left them made it too difficult for me. I would go in those rooms and cry.... so we transformed one into an office-guest room (where I am now), and the other into my sewing room. It has been quite a few years now and they haven't come back home (which I am very proud of), but I still sometimes walk into those empty rooms and hear their childish giggles, but I am in full agreement with you about launching our children into the world to stand on their own merits. We wouldn't be doing our job if it was otherwise, would we? xo Karen

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  28. That is quite a talent - turning hardwood floors into a work of art. That is a beautiful floor. My 'guest room' is also my root cellar and vege storage. I appreciate guests with flexibility!

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  29. We're beginning to think about working on making our son's room into a guest room. My guess is that it will be done around 2018. You look like you have a great start on yours.

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  30. awwww, loving and letting go, I know it well!!

    We re-did those rooms many years ago. Both bedrooms and the bathroom, gutted, right down to the studs because we could not get the wall paper off the walls. Funny story, when the installer came to install the new carpets, he said softly "can I ask you a question?" I said sure...... "How did you get rid of them??, the kids I mean, was it hard??" I don't know if I have ever laughed harder. He had a 30 year old he was trying to get rid of.

    Now we have a beautiful guest room and a big huge storage room. I use it like a great big closet!! It's not so bad, emptying the nest!!

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  31. The floors are gorgeous! Our girl's bedrooms have not changed all that much. They have been gone for over 20 years and are only used when we have company. When we moved to the farm we had all the floors refinished and the upstairs wood is still perfect (34 years later). There are 4 bedrooms up there and since ours is downstairs, they seldom get used. I'd say your one of your guest rooms would be a perfect studio/office for you.

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  32. we have moved enough times that the kids do not have actual bedrooms at our house, but where ever we live it their "home" also.

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  33. Ours turned into a variety of rooms One was always a guest room for when either came home for a holiday. The other room was a video room until bill retired and then I threw his video /movie making gear downstairs into his office which has now become his man cave. So now we have two guest rooms or even three if I count my study which also has a bed, where my mum used to stay when she came for the weekends from the retirement village. One of the guest rooms doubles as n ironing room and the other doubles as a sewing room. The girls and their families know there is always a room for them when they come home to visit. We even bought a cot for Fox when he visited at three months of age. He used it for about two weeks and now he is nearly 5 and hasn't been here since. Even his little brother, Banjo, is too big for a cot. So go figure we have cot and no one to use it. It is now folded up in a cupboard. I secretly wish that they would all come home for a visit one day.

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  34. We have been true "empty nesters" since the twins graduated from college in 1997, yet when we built our house in 2004, we included three bedrooms so each one still has "her" room. We actually haven't called any of them the "guest" room.

    Your floor looks great! My husband has just finished replacing the carpet in our family room with hardwood. He says he's taking a "little break," yet when he came home yesterday from errands, he had more boxes of flooring in the car!:-) The living room is next!

    xo Nellie

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  35. Oh, we have three daughters, and one of them did actually come home for a few months after her post doc while she was lining up employment.

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  36. Your floors look lovely. We once had those but way too dusty for me, even though carpet is same, it somehow suits me more.
    Children leave our homes, they return sometimes. The youngest returned 6 times :) The eldest left once in his mid 20's.
    Never thought about their rooms when they left. They took what belonged to them, we kept their beds, we had many visitors come and stay, still do. I would like to turn one of the bedrooms into 'my room' but what's the point, they all came home to live for months, 5 of them :) When they were gone again, more visitors come, so I keep the room for visitors who stay which is often.

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  37. I even live in different home from the one I raised my kids in....and I still have a few (OK, lots) of their childhood mementos scattered about in the guest rooms. The grandchildren like to see them (that's my story and I am sticking with it).

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  38. Wow! You did an amazing job! You will love putting those rooms to use! I redid my last two girls rooms a lot sooner after they left than you did but I will let you in on a little hidden secret. Don't look in the closets or dresser drawers. It's all still there.

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  39. Those floors look amazing. It took me a couple of years before I changed my daughters room. But then not long after that we sold our home and started full-time RVing. It is kinda exciting to think of what you can do with a spare room.. Hope you are enjoying your weekend my friend.

    Hugs~

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  40. Those are beautiful floors. I still have three at home so I am not there yet, but I already do have plans. A real guest room and a room so my grand kids have a place to spend the night. The third I think I will turn into a real library. All of it is subject to change though. I don't know when they will be empty. The three that were left after the older three moved out, had no problem in taking over the space. :)
    I don't imagine I will either. I agree totally though, they will have to stand on their own feet and as my Mom said to me when I moved out, once you step out this door, we break your dinner plate. You are on your own, you better make wise choices. It stuck in my mind so much that I lived on cup of soup rather than ever let her know I was hungry. It was a blessing I think now. Hard for Mom though. I never told. :)

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  41. I cant answer to the how long, but I will say the room looks lovely and welcoming, especially for a now mature daughter to return home to. After all you are still there, and that is what makes it home

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  42. My bedroom became Grandma's room when she moved in.

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  43. I'm late visiting Grace ... and I am so wowed by these floors I absolutely love them .. wish I could have my whole top floor done in dark hardwood.
    We do not have a guest room ... I took over the one spare room we had and made it my "office" .. a garden office !! I had wanted one for ages and here I am enjoying every single bit of it : ) I hope you have one soon too !!
    I am in total agreement with you on having the little birdies fly and build their own nest .. for us , number one son flew a long way to another country .. South Carolina .. and fitted into an already made family with 4 teenagers at the time .. one boy and 3 girls, so it was a huge difference for him but he said he could do it and they have .. daughter-in-law is wonderful : )
    Guest room ? I so wish we had one .. we actually put son & DIL up in a hotel over Xmas ... that is how badly we could use some room ! LOL
    But it was a wonderful visit that also gave them some badly needed down time from their very busy lives ... almost an extra Xmas gift to them.
    In any case .. gorgeous floors and no ... your kids will never think of it as a guest room .. it is HOME because you and your hero are there!!
    Joy : )

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  44. I still refer to one of our bedrooms as "Brett's (my son) room". My daughter is living with us since her divorce, so I've forgotten what it is to be an empty-nester! :) Your hardwood floors look beautiful! You lucky girl...I wish I had a Dios in my family!

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  45. Hi B, your brother is a truly talented craftsman - gorgeous floors indeed.
    Wherever we live, when the children visit, whatever room we've put them in then became known as their particular room but we also use them as a computer room, a painting room etc. when there were no visitors. Now we're in a very small unit so it's a matter of mattresses on the floor of the lounge room !! I'm sure it will give your dear ones much pleasure to know that you're utilising their rooms for things that bring you pleasure! Cheers now :D)

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The mind grows by what it feeds on. J.G. Holland

Thank you so much for your comments, they mean more to me then I could ever express. Hug B

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