Sunday, May 10, 2015

The day before.....and now Mothers Day.

Love cannot be forced,
love cannot be coaxed and teased.
It comes out of Heaven,
unasked and unsought.
                Pearl Sydenstricker Buck
  

One Saturday, this past April I went to an auction with My Hero and Dios. It was a farm auction where I met many farmers, and captured many wonderful moments with my camera. I wrote three stories that day and was excited about getting them out of my journal to share. We stopped at a little café in Madoc called CJ’S Diner and had a great late lunch. It was a perfect day. A typical day of doing what we love to do in our world before that busy farm season begun.

After getting home the boys were reliving the moments from the farm auction around the kitchen table, and I was talking to my daughter on the phone. My telling her about the stories I had gathered, and my listening to her stories about her day. That’s was when my call waiting beeped, it was my sister. Our world changed.


I had to tell my daughter that her grandmother had taken a “turn for the worse”. I had always heard that saying on TV, never knowing what it really meant, but I now understood that it was not what I ever wanted to hear as far as my mother was concerned. I hung up that phone, grabbed my keys and my cell phone and raced to the nursing home, where we had moved my mother, less than one month before.

My brother and his son were already there. I threw everything down and curled up with my Mom. I put my arm over her just like I had always done. I started whispering stories in her ear and reassuring her that it was going to be alright. I sang a few songs in her ear, those songs she loved to hear. Those songs that always stir those good memories, the ones that had always soothed both of us; Now, once again soothing me, and I hoped soothed her. She was peaceful. My sisters arrived soon after and we took turns curling up with Mom. Every one of us telling her those soothing things we each had all shared every time we had that alone time with her, those special things.


The staff at the nursing home was so very caring making this “Turn for the worse” easier for all of us especially my Mom. Later that night and into the early morning of the Sunday two more grandchildren arrived. There was much texting going on between everyone in that room, and those loved ones who wanted to be there but could not. Mom was surrounded by love, physical and electronically. I could feel all that love in the room and I know Mom did too. 

There was no pain, and with a room full of love and support our Mom slipped away to join our Dad, our brother and others she had not seen in a very long time. I have no regrets with the way it all happened. Mom was never left alone even for a minute. That was the way she had always hoped the end of this journey would be.


We will all keep singing those songs, telling those stories and keeping that love alive. Mom would not have wanted anything less. I have a feeling, she is still sharing her songs and stories as well.

Happy Mothers Day to all those wonderful caring Mothers out there. Love you Mom.


Later

44 comments:

  1. very sweet, buttons. she holds you now every day. :)

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  2. Buttons, my heart, my thoughts, my prayers are with you. I can't ever think about rings on hands without thinking of your Mom and my Mom. It's a lovely memory.. I wear one of Mom's rings every single day. Your Mom is always with you tucked away in a very special place in your heart... always there.

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  3. My thoughts and prayers are with you. May you forever hold those sweet memories of your mom in your heart.

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  4. You did good, I am certain she heard your songs and words and they comforted her on her way.
    Happy Mother's Day to you! Remember the fun times:)

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  5. A beautiful love story Button. Happy Mother's Day.
    Hugs,
    JB

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  6. Blessings on you, dear Buttons. In the beginning, she held onto you in love. Now at the end, you were able to hold her, in that same love.

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  7. You honor your Mother, Buttons...with all the wonderful stories that you share with us...with your loving and respectful care of her these past years...and I'm sure she was honored to call you her your daughter! I'm sure your daughters are also honored to call you their Mom. What an example you have shown them! Happy Mothers Day!!

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  8. I know your mother was an amazing woman. Not just because of your stories, but because who you are. Apples don't fall far from the tree. I wish you and your family all my love. I am thankful that you and your family were there as she moved from one family to another.

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  9. My heart sank as I read your words.......so thankful you could be there with your Mom at the end.

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  10. A beautiful post. A painful post. How lovely that she slipped from the room surrounded by love, and knowing it.

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  11. My Dear Sweet Friend,
    I have tears in my eyes as I read your post today. Your Mother knew you, your sisters, and everyone she loved was there by her side one way or another as she took that final across the bridge to be with God and her husband. Keeping you and your Mother close to my heart. Blessing,
    Sandy

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  12. Honestly, a damn good way to die. Surrounded by your children that you gave life to live, and knowing somehow they would understand enough to be there to escort you to your next story. Family is what is most important. She could be no prouder then have raising all of you - the best accomplishment of her life. XOXOXOX

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  13. B....thank you for sharing those last few hours with us. So glad that you and so many family members could be there to give her comfort and love. She had to feel it.

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  14. You and your family gave her a great send off. I admire people who are loving and very close family members and to give her the comfort you all gave her. Thanks for sharing these words with us. Sending you some cyber hugs!

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  15. My sincere sympathy to you and your family.
    Cheri

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  16. My sympathy to you for the loss of your Mother. what a great story of courage and support. She knew a great day to take her exit.

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  17. A royal banner of love painted here. I am glad you were with her.

    I was not with either of my parents when they passed and it's something I shall always live with.

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  18. So sorry to hear of your loss so close to mother's day. It is lovely that she had her family with her and for you to curl up and sing memories to her. What a way to go. I will miss your stories of your visits with her. Hope your farming chores will keep your brain busy so that you don't suffer too much. My thoughts are with you.

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  19. I am sorry to hear about your loss. Hugs and Prayers to you and your family.

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  20. I'm so sorry for the loss you are having. it's a hard time...you have wonderful memories of the best kind..Hugs M xxx

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  21. We were in the room when my mother-in-law passed, and I know it was a sacred time, filled with love, and the promise that we would all meet again some day. Hugs and prayers across the miles, B.

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  22. Miss B,
    Sounds like the perfect way to go, surrounded by family, embraced in love and without pain.

    I still have you in my prayers as you go through this sad time. Maybe not so sad as your Mom lived a good life, but it's still a change for you and your family.

    Keep thinking the good memories! Your Mom will continue to live in the hearts of many.

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  23. Your mom was a terrific person (as I read in your stories of her) so I'm pleased to read that she passes in peacefully surrounded by family.

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  24. Grace, your Mom was the light in your life, and your family is reflecting that love and light right back at her beautifully.She was and is loved so much that memories of her will never dim.

    Jen

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  25. I don't know that there was ever a mother more loved. It is obvious in your sensitive writing, Buttons, that you were the recipient of a tremendous amount of love. Sending you love and hugs.

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  26. Dear Grace, I am so sorry for your loss. But what a peaceful, gentle ending to a BIG life. You are in my thoughts today.

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  27. Your mom has always been such a strong presence with you. I am so sorry for your loss.

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  28. a lovely post for you mum on Mother's Day.

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  29. Sounds like it was a beautiful , loving passing. How blessed you all were to be there for her. May God shine his perpetual light on her and give her peace.

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  30. curious - maybe i missed it in your post ... do Canadian do Mother's Day like us in the US? i know British folks celebrate gosh, was it back in March or maybe February? i hope you have the chance to get to Jasper one day. it is gorgeous area or Canada. we have so many other places we want to see in Canada next time i guess. there are never enough hours, money, time off, or other suchness to do it all in i am afraid. ( :

    i still remember when my mom & dad were away camping - and i had to be the one to tell my dad that his mom was sick. she had taken a turn for the worse. i didn't know whether to tell it quickly - like ripping off like a band aid or take it slow. it is hard to know what to say? bad news is tough no matter how you coat it??! big big hugs.

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  31. Being surrounded by family and love at the end, is what we all hope for. {hugs}

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  32. Hey Lady, I have been thinking about you a lot. I've wanted to send you an e-mail but have barely had time to sit down lately. I am so very sorry to hear about your Mom passing. I have been keeping up reading your blog, usually in bed on my phone, under the covers so as not to wake my Shug. But it's too hard to type a comment on the phone. My dear I remember when we e-mailed and you told me she was in a nursing home. i felt so bad for you. I know these last two months have been so hard. I am doing everything I can to enjoy every moment I have with my parents. Life goes way too fast. I feel like time is out of control right now. I will, always, take time out for family though. Just as you did. Keep thinking of the fun times, the laughter, the stories, the songs....the memories. In the end, it's the memories that matter.

    Cindy Bee

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  33. Grace girl ... I so wish all mother/daughter relationships could be that wonderful. Mine wasn't so it is amazing to read about your life and at this moment your way of saying good bye .. it was beautiful.
    I am so sorry for your loss but it happened in such a peaceful loving way it was not a loss as much as it was a "good bye but we will see you again" ...
    Take care
    Joy : )

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  34. awwww mother's day must have been a difficult one this year!!! happy belated mom's day to you button's....fill your heart with her memories and she will always be with you!!!! xo

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  35. A wonderful post, Grace *hugs* I love that your Mom was surrounded by you and your siblings and all your wonderful memories and songs in her last moments...*hugs*

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  36. As you so eloquently wrote... "Mom would not have wanted anything less."

    Hugs

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  37. Dear Buttons, I am so very sorry to learn of your mother's passing. What a beautiful post and a wonderful way to honour her. I'm so glad you were able to be with her until the end. Blessings to you and yours. Sending hugs. Pam

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  38. HUGS! It seems the month of May has meant a loss for several of us in Blogland.

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  39. Thank you everyone your constant love and support over the years has always gotten me through the tough stuff. I love my Blog family they are the most compassionate and understanding people I have never met, but someday may. I look forward to that day.Thank you. HUGS B

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  40. Dearest Buttons, somehow I missed this blogpost. My deepest condolences on the passing of your dear mother. Linda@Wetcreek Blog

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The mind grows by what it feeds on. J.G. Holland

Thank you so much for your comments, they mean more to me then I could ever express. Hug B

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