Lack of something to feel important about
is the greatest tragedy a man may have.
Arthur Ernest Morgan
It took me many years to realize that my life was not really my own and that I indeed had a purpose. I do believe that life is led by something more powerful than any of us. If I had of really listened and believed that, my life would have been much easier. After years of my ignoring it, I had to surrender to those nagging ideas that randomly popped into my head. Sounds scary, doesn’t it?
Well, it scared me too. I had to believe and trust that every”thing” has a purpose and a reason. Those seemingly insignificant things that you may have thought nothing about, as well as those “kick you in the head, knock you down” moments. Those good things in our lives, and unfortunately for us the bad things in our lives, all have a purpose, even if we never understand what, at the time. I have to trust and believe that.
Synchronicity is a word. A word I have come to like. Carl Gustav Jung believed that just as events may be connected by causality, they may also be connected by meaning. I like that thought. The term, "meaningful coincidences" was also used by Mr. Jung. Fascinating isn’t it?
I am not going to give a lecture or preach to you, I will leave that to the professionals, but I am going to tell you a story, after all, that is what I do.
It has been a couple of tough years for me for many reasons. There were heartbreaking family losses, and big shifts in my own life, bringing on feelings of self-doubt and purpose. I could go on and on, but it does not help you, or me to rehash them here. I then started to feel sorry for myself. Being in tune with the belief of my own sense of purpose in this world, I believed I was done with those long abandoned feelings, I was wrong.
There has been the “Putting on a good front” thing, my grandma always talked about, and my keeping myself so busy, to not think about what I was really feeling. I was having doubts about my writing and this blogging thing. That writing and sharing thing that I love is what has gotten me through many tough things in my life before. I write to stay happy and hopefully share that happy.
I met the most wonderful, talented, young artist on the weekend. Her strength and determination had me in tears while holding her tight. She was standing in the middle of something so big and overwhelming that she could never have believed that she could possibly ever have done it. Fear has a way of crippling your “big somethings”, but she did it. Even with all those scary moments leading up to it, deep down and while constant battling with all those doubts she truly believed it was something she had to do. That is the moment I am talking about. She needed to be there and I needed to be there at that exact moment. Not before, or after, just at that exact moment.
I was so completely drawn to her art, in the middle of a show full of artists. It was very different and exciting, it spoke to me. I cannot explain the pull it had on me.
We were deep in conversation about the meaning of her art, and I was telling her how much I loved it, she laughed a nervous laugh. That’s when I began to realize just how similar our fears and insecurities were, especially when I was her age. I told her that I was a writer so I understood that “feeling different thing”. “What do you write?” she asked. I am a blogger at Buttons….. Before I had finished the sentence she blurts out “Your Buttons?” with tears in her eyes. “Yes I am”.
It seems that through a mutual friend of ours, she had been given a link to my blog and had been reading it for a while now. This mutual friend has always wanted us to meet for some unknown (?) to her reason. All she knew was that we had to meet. It was never the right time I guess. Oh, I love when those “Synchronicity” moments reveal themselves.
That day, I really needed to hear how my story writing and blog posts made her feel and hear how they gave her comfort. She really needed to know, how much her beautiful art meant to me, and how it made me feel, and that we were not that different. It was perfect timing for both of us, just when we really needed it.
I am so happy I finally met this lovely talented young woman. She has no idea, but that day I did not want to go to that show. I just wanted to go home and sit in front of the television to wallow in my own self-pity and my own doubts. Something told me I had to go, so I did. I trusted that feeling.
She is the strongest young person I have ever met. I have no doubt that she is going to go far in this world. She just has to believe that she does indeed have a purpose in her own life and to not let fear have her doubt that. Meeting her that day and remembering that for myself was proof of that. Thank you, my new friend. Hugs B.