Sunday, September 20, 2015

Weekend Thoughts and Back to the Beginning.

Self-confidence is of more importance in conversation than ability.
                             Duc Francoise de La Rochefoucauld


Sitting here on this Sunday afternoon looking out the window into my world, I think of the weekend. How I feel about my life now and what lies ahead.

It is no secret I hit a major bump in the road, as far as life goes. Losing my Mom was more difficult than I could have ever imagined. I kept thinking of what I was going to do now. For eight years after my Dad passed away,(I started blogging three years after that),I tried to do all I could for her and keep her smiling, my way. I have to tell you she was my biggest fan, as far as my stories about the farm and my photographs of the cows. I started to think after she was gone. Was I doing this for me? Was I doing it for her? Was I doing it for the others who read this blog and my knowing it also made them happy? I was confused and needed some time to figure it out.


After this weekend of spending time with My Hero, some people who read my stories, and those cows, which I used to spend a lot of time with but have been avoiding, I may have found the answer.

I realized I cannot always make others happy. I do like writing and photographing the things in my life that make me happy and seem to make others happy as well. But, I had taken on the task of trying to take care of everyone else’s happiness, possibly because I had a hole in my heart and needed to fill it. I realized this is/was a big unrealistic responsibility I had taken on. Thinking I was responsible for making everyone happy.

I have decided to get back to blogging for me. If that makes others happy I am extremely happy for that. I cannot hold myself completely responsible for the happiness of others. I have to do what I love and if that works for others, that must to be the way it is supposed to be. I do love blogging and now that I think back I did get into it for all the right reasons. Writing about who I am and what I do and sharing that.


Now that I have gotten that off my chest, I have to tell you about my weekend. It was a good one.

First; I started knitting again after a long break. This was something my Mom had taught me during her last years. This makes me happy. I finished my first hat. It will be heading off to a very deserving, funny, brave lady who makes me laugh.


Second; My Hero and I went to an auction on an island, oh yes I have to share those photos, and hopefully will get them on here this week. That time spent with him and mingling with others gathering stories, makes me happy.


Third; our cows are enjoying the sweet second cut hay that will not dry, being delivered to them daily as our pasture grass is winding down. They run and gather around fighting for the best bite. Oh yes, that hat I made, well you know I had to try to get Bossy2 to try it on before it went into the mail. She was not very cooperative. I think it had something to do with the timing. You know that whole sweet tasty alfalfa and finding the best bites thing. This is what makes me happy.


I have decided to go back to blogging with my Blogger profile and not Google Plus. I want to get back to a simpler part of blogging and back to that place I started from. It has never been my intention to make money on this blog. It was a place of enjoyment and that is what (at least for now) it will remain. I just need to get back to that simpler way of blogging. I look forward to sharing my world with those of you who remember the beginning, and those of you who just want to know who, and what makes me happy. That would be writing and photographing my world, which the farm is a big part of, but not everything. A world that makes me happy most of the time, and if sharing it makes you happy too, I am glad. I really care if you are all happy, but I cannot make everyone happy no matter how much I really want too.


Later

51 comments:

  1. "...have to do what I love and if that works for others that must to be the way it is supposed to be."

    I think that's the way it's supposed to be!

    Love the cow hat. Your friend will be honored you let Betsy2 try it on first. I mean, you had to make sure it was perfect, right? ;-)

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    1. You have 402 followers on your blog. I think that's pretty cool! Looks like lots of people like your stories.

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  2. going back to basics is a very good place to begin again. love your herd girls. :)

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  3. I love seeing your girls...and I just found your blog a while back. I do enjoy it, and glad you are continuing to blog. But you know, you can only do what you can do. So do it when you can and feel no guilt....

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  4. I am so happy to hear that you are continuing to blog - for yourself. The pleasure that I and others get is an incidental. For which I thank you.

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  5. Cute hat. Glad you have decided to continue to blog. I enjoy sharing also.

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  6. I'm glad you're keeping on keeping on B. Sometimes we just need to do it for ourselves and for fun. I much prefer Blogger and haven't tried Google + or anything else...I like to keep it simple too. I love your cow pics and the new hat. Have a beautiful week. Hugs. Pam

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  7. Welcome back B! Returning to the basics and your old self is going to be very good for you. Loved this post and that you were willing to share it with us. That is some good looking hay!

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  8. Now and then it's good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy. Guillaume Apollinaire

    Of all the gifts that people can give each other, the most meaningful and long lasting are: strong, but simple love, and the gift of a story. Clarisa Pinkola Estes

    By all means, Dear Friend, continue to blog. Write for yourself and it will continue to become a treasure. --- Leenie

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  9. I never did the switch to google+ either as I to am not in this for the money or want to display my blog on every single type of social media and it seems to run ones browser to much and ones blog I find google + has to much control well it did when it first come out , blogging is easier with blogger or as I use Windows Live Writer to do my posts and it publishes it to my blog as it is linked . We are here to live our lives our way and to do what makes us happy after all it is OUR life we are living not any one else's that's how I see it . I was in the same boat when my mum passed and that was 7 years ago this thanksgiving so for me thanks giving is a tuff one . I felt lost and didn't know what to do so I started blogging and it has helped as I enjoy taking photos and sharing our neck of the woods with others and am happy that I have made so many wonderful blog friends and connections and that others enjoy my blog to ! Thanks for sharing and keep on keeping on for you . Have a good week !

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  10. This makes me so happy B. It really sounds as though you are in a good place right now. I love that your hats are back too! I hope that you are able to remember your Mom every time you pick up the needles, the way that I remember my Nanna whenever I pick up mine. Loves xxx

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  11. The blog should be for you and we will just tag along and smile at your adventures.

    I hear contentment in your words.

    Blessings.

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  12. If you do what makes you happy and it makes others happy as well, then you are going in the right direction. I'm glad that you are finding some peace in doing what makes you happy.

    All the best.
    Hugs,
    JB

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  13. I really enjoy your blog and am very happy to hear that you have got things "together" again. It helps me to be able to share your animals as I no longer have any of my own, excluding my two dogs. Welcome back, and what can I say, other than "Blog on" We are with you in thought and prayer. :-}

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  14. Pleased to read you are still knitting!
    Blog for yourself is a good thing to do...keep up the good work you do on it. I always enjoy and look forward to reading what you have written.
    Hugs M xox

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  15. You may think you write for yourself, but you have an audience and we like your stories and how you usually relate to something more serious in life.

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  16. I'm glad that you have decided to keep blogging; and that you are doing if because you enjoy it. You cannot make everyone happy -- and those of us who love you from afar, will continue to read and enjoy your writing and the bits of your life that you share.

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  17. Some of your best blogs are the sad ones. Hearing you go through the loss of your mother, reminded me of the loss of my grandmother. You were able to put how I felt into something that made sense. That is why I read. Your are a beautiful writer, because you write from the heart and about the good and bad. I thank you for being a part of my life. I am happy to hear you are back to knitting. Your mother would like that.

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  18. Dearest Butttons, I didn't know you lost your mom. I'm so sorry, I know how much she meant to you, her chair, her hands, the knitting. I feel so bad for you. I know that I missed things in the lives of my blogger friends by staying away for so long, but not something like this. I too have had doubts about blogging. I just haven't had the energy and felt no creative stirrings at all. So I thought I just rambled on, making little sense to anyone else and it bothered me. After I wrote about it on my blog so many of you said for me to just keep doing what I was doing, blogging for me. And I think you came to that conclusion here as well. Take care my dear friend, and again, I am so sorry.

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  19. Glad you're blogging again. The hat on the cow is the cutest picture ever.

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  20. One of the things I love about reading blogs is that it opens my eyes to know that I am not alone in my joys, my griefs, and bumps in the road.

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  21. Hello Buttons, I often think of my Mom. She passed just before my son turned 1 year old he will be 23 soon. I wish he could have grown up with a grandmother, I loved both my mother and grandmother! I am so happy you have decided to continue blogging, I enjoy reading your stories about the cows and farm. I love the hat! I do not blog for money it is all just for fun and do not sell my photos, I am happy to let people use them if they ask. Have a happy day and new week ahead!

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  22. Hi Buttons ~ I am sorry for the loss of your Mom. Glad you took up your knitting again and think of all of those good memories as she taught you to knit and you knit together. That's great. Your hat is cute.

    Love seeing pictures of your herd. They look so content.

    Have a great week and blog when you feel like it.

    FlowerLady

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  23. You put a knitted hat on a cow. That put a smile on my face, and that's not easy to do at 6am. It's a funny thing, happiness. But in my experience, the more I do to make myself happy, the happier everyone else is around me.

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  24. I hear that siren call of "people pleasing," as I suspect many women do. I'm always glad to hear from you - whether it's on your blog or a comment on mine. You are making a positive difference in my life, and I thank you for that. Hugs across the miles, B!

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  25. I think it sounds like you have figured some things out! I have always preferred the blogger profile :-)

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  26. I am glad you have found the path through your sadness. Good decision because I like coming here to "visit" you! Sending you a hug! :) I just like blogger too that Google Plus stuff was confusing to me.

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  27. Sorry that you lost your mother... And that this "threw you for a loop"...

    Simple Wisdom -- We cannot make everyone happy. Nor can we expect this, of ourselves. I do not think we can insure the happiness of _anyone_. Each person's happiness is their own, to make. Yes, we can be kind, loving and considerate of others. But their happiness, state of mind, outlook, is theirs to make.<--All of this, did _not_ apply to your aging mother. Her happiness, you _did_ contribute to!!!! I mean all the people, who are still walking around and in good command of their life/circumstances.

    Blog-for-you!!!

    Paying attention to the joys, in your life! Yes! Especially your Cows!!!

    Riding yourself of Google+!!!! Oh yes! Many bloggers are sick and tired of the way that Google+ has invaded and changed things. Oh yes, get as far away from it as possible. Hugssssssss

    I-am-sick-of-how-blogging, has become a slick selling-something-game. Everything on some blogs, screams hip, slick, up-to-the-minute, chic, 'smart', trying to look 'professionally done', etc., etc., etc. I am so happy, for the blogs which remain true to "The Old Ways" of blogging. Not looking like they are "designed". If you know what I mean.

    Wow! Thank you for letting me jump up on my soapbox and do a mini rant here!!!!!! I feel these things. But some lovely new blogging friends do have these kind-of-slick to this Old Gal kind of blogs. And I don't want to hurt their feelings either. -sigh-sigh-sigh- But here, I know you will not be offended, because you don't do this hippity stuff, any more than I do. :-))))

    Be back, with Joy and the Fun blogging gives you!!!!!

    Gentle hugs,
    Tessa
    that 'Old Gal' blogger!!!

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  28. I am glad you are back as you---doing things that make you happy---although I know that making your Mother happy was one of the things that made you happy also. We all try so hard to please others that we do sometimes forget ourselves. Your Mother would probably tell you to get back on track. and so you have.
    I lost my own Mother a couple of years ago. she was 95 and a sweetness to me. and I miss her at odd time specially.
    MB

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  29. It's great news, Buttons, that you are going back to your blogging roots. And I'm impressed that you have decided to blog for yourself. I'm willing to bet that most of your readers will LOVE what you post no matter what. If you're happy we'll be happy for you...and probably with you too.

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  30. I'm so glad you are going to continue blogging. I too just write for myself. No ads, just me writing about me and what's going on in my life. If others find it interesting, that's good. If not, that's good too. I can't imagine losing my mom, and yet I know one day that comes to us all. You are in my prayers my friend. I look forward to reading more about you :)!

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  31. I LOVE reading your work Grace. I was there with you as your Mom went through her struggle.
    Today is the anniversary of My Dad's passing, so your post brought a tear to my eyes.

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  32. Glad you have yourself sorted out and know what you want to do and why. I know all about that hole in your life after the death of a parent or the leaving home of a child...it takes a while to remember what you used to do to keep busy and happy. You've found your way. Hurray!!!!!

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  33. Oh, I do know what it's like to feel stuck after a loving parent dies. My dad was my biggest fan, and it was so hard, still hard at times, that he's not here. I am glad that you have decided to blog. Also glad that you are not involved in Google+. So many Google+ blogs won't let me comment because I'm not a member and that's annoying. I hope you find peace and joy in the days ahead. Your cow/hat photo brought a chuckle. Love that! I'll be waiting for the cow/sweater photo. LOL

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  34. O dear Grace...please accept my condolences; I didn't realize your Mom had passed. Take care of yourself during these stressful days. I don't try and please everyone, only God. If He is pleased with me, I sleep well at night.
    You're in my prayers.

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  35. i was shocked to see you took a break from your crafts ... i would have thought that was something you did constantly ... to relief stress or ease the mind. i hope you had a blast getting back at it. ( :

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  36. Hey Buttons, good for you reassessing and figuring things out ... I love your stories and I'm glad you enjoy writing them. And I'm happy to hear there are more of those wonderful hats out in the world. There's just nothing else quite like them :).

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  37. I'm so glad that both you and Bossy have your priorities straight. Believe me, other people's happiness is much too hard - who knows what might make anyone else happy? It's hard enough to satisfy ourselves! I look forward to your future posts as I always have. They make me think, and teach me something, and yes, often they bring a smile to my face. Happy fall.

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  38. Good to see you back and seeing your cows again. Love that hat and your images. It is baby steps when losing a loved one. I have not experienced yet what you have gone through. I don't relish the idea just yet. My mom is 87. Her health is not good these days. You are the one that one looks after to be happy. Hope that makes sense! Looking forward to reading more of your stories. Hugs!

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  39. B,

    Sweet friend, I so feel your pain with losing your Mom. Your Mom and My Mom are up above watching over both of us while we
    get back to what really matter's in life, taking care of ourselves and our spouses. Good to see you getting back to where you want to be with
    writing and taking pictures with LEO!!!
    Love and Hugs to You and Yours,
    Sandy

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  40. I'm going to treasure the photo of Bossy2 wearing my hat forever! And the hat. And you - most especially you. *hugs*
    It's good to see you taking these steps as you're ready, and finding your happy again. I'm still reeling a bit from this dark summer, but like you... I'm getting there, but baby steps are the order of the day.

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  41. No way can we live life trying to make others happy . . . especially when we are dealing with "holes in our heart!"
    Happy you are feeling renewed happy spunk . . .
    Great to hear!

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  42. shoot I forgot to select an account before hitting send, excuse me if two comments arrive. I had said that as an on again off again blooger I had missed that you had lost your Mom, I am truly sorry this is such a diffiuclt place to be but happy you are back to blogging and as I can't figure out this google+ place I am glad you aren't there for now. Look forward to more fabulous hats and gorgeous girl shots. xxoo Lynn

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  43. So glad you have chosen to continue blogging! I have fallen by the wayside due to a very busy summer, and to be honest a little sadness in that I havent been well enough to ride. I love to read your stories, and I wish you healing and comfort after the loss of your beloved mother. My heart hurts for you in this regard and I can only wish you comfort and peace, and send you a big old Fern Valley Hug!

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  44. It's time to make yourself happy! Looking forward to reading more posts!

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  45. Hi Buttons, what a great post and one that I am sure many have asked themselves as well. None of us can begin to make anyone happy. It must start with us first and then it flows to others around us. I love your blog, your writing, your photos and all of it that makes you who you are. I understand the emptiness of losing a parent. I buried both my dad and then my mother 22 months apart. It was a difficult and sad time. And the time between my dad's passing and my mothers was spent being my mom's care giver in my home and then later the help of a nursing center. I would not change that time with her for anything as we spent quality time together and I learned so much. But I too, had to look over my life and decide how I would go forward from there. So glad you followed your heart and doing what makes you happy and sharing with all of us along the way.

    Wishing you many happy times filled with lots of blessings.
    Sending you Big Texas Hugs, cm


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  46. It can be exhausting trying to keep everyone happy B. As women who have been caregivers all our lives, making ourselves happy seems an elusive goal. I found after losing my mom (having had her live with us for the last 7 years of her life), I felt totally lost. It took me a good year or more to even be able to think about my own happiness.
    I am glad that you will still be blogging, and even more glad to hear that it will be done on your own terms! I look forward to your writing and photos.

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  47. I struggle with Google Plus too. It just doesn't make any sense to me. Nice to meet you.
    Sandy

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  48. You are awesome, and I love your blog, but do it for you, not for anyone else, although I'm glad your Mother enjoyed while she was still here.
    Simple is always better.

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  49. I'm new here. Love the hat and would be very pleased if you could print the instructions.

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    1. I am sorry River I have no pattern to give I just go with the flow. I am a beginner knitter with a lot of luck and do not know how to read nor write a pattern yet but I am learning.

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The mind grows by what it feeds on. J.G. Holland

Thank you so much for your comments, they mean more to me then I could ever express. Hug B

Please do not copy my work. If you like it let me know I am sure we can work something out. Copyright is in place.