"Well, not feeding it seems to work."
Men occasionally stumble upon the truth,
but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off
as if nothing happened.
Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill
It is early Saturday morning, and I sit on a chair in the middle of a crowd with pen and paper in hand. I look up to watch My Hero sport a big smile. We may or may not, need the tool he just bought at the auction barn, but that smile makes me smile and brings me back to a normal I have not participated in for a while.
Out of thirty days, I have only spent about ten days on the farm. This means I really have nothing to write about the farm. I do have some pretty pictures from the morning when I left for my last adventure. The foggy morn has some significance, I think. My life has been in a kind of foggy haze as of late. Oh yes, surrounded by things I cannot necessarily see but know are out there.
Life has many adventures to follow, and as I age the urge to explore them grows stronger. To have a granddaughter, who lives in the city far away contributes greatly to my deserting duties on the farm, and my blog. I would never have thought this a few years ago but as only a grandparent can understand, they grow up so fast and I cannot miss this.
To travel to the city has now become part of my normal, just as much as the chores I used to do on the farm. I have not traded one for the other. I just have to juggle things and try to get all of it into a sustainable order, that I can live with. Like any other change in life, there are always going to be decisions and transitions but eventually, I trust they will all work out, the way they are supposed to.
There was also that impromptu trip to Vancouver. All I can say about that is that my new motto would have to be that “Opportunity knocked, and I answered.” I had a ball, and I do not regret any time away from the farm or my granddaughter. Happiness is something that only we can bring to our own lives. Those who sit and wait for others to make them happy may be sorely disappointed. You have had the power all along. A realization we all come to at one time or another, hopefully before it is too late. We all need to stop blaming others for our unhappiness.
Trips to the city of Toronto and beyond, along with the city of Vancouver has many scribblers of mine full of handwritten stories. If I ever plant my feet back on the farm for more than a few days or plant my butt in front of the computer in my kitchen for a few days, I will get them out there. There will be no pressure on myself or guilt for not being on time. Feeding my blog and not neglecting it are a part of a life that I really want to maintain. Life is indeed a busy place and I may have to skip a few feedings now and then. Oh, but I am sure you have all noticed this.
I, at this very moment, find myself drifting between life as a blogger and a writer and the person that has been lost in a fog. One, who is trying to hold on to pieces of what she has had to leave behind, and one who has this great need to grab hold to what lies in front.
So, this means that farm stories, city stories, travel stories and most importantly life stories will always be captured in those scribblers. After all, that is who I am. I am a writer. My hope is that I will continue to feed them into my blog because I love my blog, and my blog family and I never want this to die from neglect.
If you are reading this I must have found the time to park my butt in front of the computer in my kitchen, to share this story. Oh yes, it may be a very interesting transition. I hope you can stick around to see what comes about.
“Sold,” the auctioneer shouts once again. I look up, and yes there is that smile again. I love that.