Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Time and Reflection! Aging.

"To know how to grow old is the master work of wisdom,and one of the most difficult chapters in the art of living".

 In my Mother's house, I watch her sleep her right arm in a sling.It has been a long night so she is tired. Sleeping during the day seems to work better for her then it does for me.
My sisters and myself have been taking turns staying day and night.My landscaper sister is laying sod for a few days so I do double duty.
 My hero is doing double duty on the farm, freeing up time for me. We are all juggling our day to day lives with making my Mom comfortable and safe while she heals.

 Aging;   Imagine looking after your children,feeding, kissing there cares and bumps away,making everything better. Making them safe and happy, sacrificing your needs for theirs.
 Now imagine that role reversed.Many in my generation are now experiencing this.
 Everyone knows it is coming but most are ill prepared for the emotions on both sides.They are ever changing.
 This strong women who has always taken care of herself and everyone else is trying to cope with losing her independence. Some days thinking and saying, she is a burden to her children and everyone would be better off  if she was gone.Just as quick thinking and saying  she is going to live to 104 no matter what.
 Her sense of humour  still there and her memories of a time gone by.Lots of stories.
 Longing for the days she had all her kids in the backyard flipping them up in the air doing gymnastics everyone happy and excited.( She must have been re-creating that the night she fell and broke her arm).
Building forts in the yard, walking miles to find our favourite swimming hole. Making The Wizard of Oz ,on the TV, a very  big event  with hot chocolate and toast every year.
 The best was the sitting around singing her favourite songs.We would all sit in a big circle and sing them one by one.We knew all the words but my memory fails me as I age.

   Mares eat oats,
   And does eat oats, 
And little lambs eat ivy 
   A kid'll eat ivy, too,
   Wouldn't you ?
     Daisy Daisy,
    Give me your answer do!
    I'm half crazy,  
   All for the love of you!
   It won't be a stylish marriage,
   I can't afford a carriage,
   But you'll look sweet on the seat
   Of a bicycle built for two !

  K-K-K-Katie, beautiful Katie,
  You're the only g-g-g-girl that I adore.
  When the m-moon shines over the cowshed,
   I'll be waitin' at the k-k-k-kitchen door 

  Happy songs and the memory, together, still make my most stressful times easier. We still sing all of these and laugh.
 She was always tired,as we are now,taking care of her family self-abasing.
 Getting up every hour,as we are now,soothing our fears and pains.
 We will continue to take care of our Mother as long as we can,always remembering her sleepless nights and sacrifices.

 I hope she does keep going to 104 in her own  way. I am off to take a short  nap for another  night shift.

 In memory of a very special Mom   Mrs.C.


1 comment:

  1. So I sit, perusing your blog, trying to get to know this person a little better that gave me an award. I see this post and I know EXACTLY how it is. My MIL fell and broke her hip two months ago. I am in the process of getting her out of a place she hates, that is a nursing home type facility and trying to get her into an assisted living place for three months. It's hard. And she told me the other day she wants me to have her rings. They are nice...diamonds, rubies, and such. I just got them out today. I was looking at them and thinking about the story behind them, when she got them, how excited she must have been. She's 89. I have only known her for 20 years and never really known her to be very happy. I wonder about the woman I never knew.

    Cindy Bee


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