Friday, November 12, 2010

Our Journey Continues! Spring! 5

 "Do what you love,
Know your own bone;
gnaw at it, bury it, and unearth it
and gnaw it still."


 The winter dragged on. We were always cold and the snow was still on our bed. The stove would always go out. M was snug as a bug in the safety of our arms. Life was hard. Going to work was my escape.
 Spring is coming soon and my decision to quit work was still an option. I was terrified of leaving the security and the warmth of my job. I had many friends who would never come out to the farm. Well maybe in the summer, but never in the winter. This was going to be harder than I thought.
“Spring has sprung the grass is ris' I wonder where the birdies is?" Or in our case "Spring has come the mosquitoes are back and I gave up my job to stay in this shack."
  So it is done: I will be staying here looking after things while My Hero takes care of bringing home the bacon. Life would not be the same again.
 I was so excited when I got up in the morning and realized I did not have to bundle M up and rush off to work. This was going to be better than I thought. I could keep the fire going and the house would be warm, and I would be able to bake, and plant a huge garden.
 Well like it does every spring, and has since the beginning of time RAIN. Lots and lots of it. Mud and leaking roofs. We had so many pots on the floor to catch the rain; we barely had a pot to cook in. The daily trip to the well pump to get the water seemed to be ironic, as we now had running water in the house.
 The farm was surrounded by mud which made it difficult to push my fancy stroller to the barn. M did not seem to notice she loved the barn.
 I made sure M was in her room when we were in the house, in her play pen. There was a window she could look outside, it was dry, and it was very bright and sunny when the sun came out. This house did not have a lot of windows so it was dark; we always had to leave the lights on.
 When M was not in the play pen, I had to keep her away from the roaring wood stove, and away from the pots of water. The floor was still cold and I was afraid of her getting sick.
 We always had to get up in the morning to feed the pigs and cows, and milk Mary the cow; this was to be repeated all over again in the evening. Twice a day rain or shine.
 The ”Not getting out of bed in the morning was just a myth". I was busier here then I was at work. This job was much harder and I was not very happy. My Hero used to do this before he went to work; I told him I could handle it now that I was home. Big mistake.
 I missed my job, and missed my friends. It was long distance for me to phone anyone, even my Mom and my sisters so I was lonely. It was like living on a very small, bad island (maybe like Alcatraz) alone.. My Hero was working more hours off the farm, to keep the farm going.
 I would spend all my time with M and we had great fun, this is what it was all about was to be happy and I am glad I stayed home. The struggles were worth it in the end.
  I can't wait to get in my garden and let M run free with Franny. Hope the rain stops soon. Life will be brighter, the sun will shine soon.



  1. It's good that you can look back and be glad with your decision to stay home. You would've gotten into a routine after a little while no doubt.
    It would've been a real challenge though.

    I can see in your words that the thoughts of the coming Spring and M being able to run around in the sunshine, are what keep you going.


The mind grows by what it feeds on. J.G. Holland

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