Wednesday, October 31, 2012

High Emotions!

What you see, yet cannot see over, is as good as infinite.
                        Thomas Carlyle

I just came back from the grocery store I was crazy enough to go to and get things my Mom and myself may need during the storm. Always be prepared is the saying that comes to mind. I am convinced this Monday morning everyone believes that and rushed out to get what they think they need.

I knew I was in trouble when every shopping cart except four were in use when I entered the store, not a good sign unless there was a shopping cart thief the night before, highly unlikely. I put a quarter in the slot slide the cart out and head to the door. Wow wall to wall people pushing and shoving with carts full of everything from food to movies, OK I noticed those movies and wondered how that would work in a power outage but maybe they were just an optimist as compared to the pessimist that had ten cases of bottled water and cases of pork and beans. That guy kind of scared me and I wondered if he also had a bunker underground. Maybe I should go with him he seems like he could survive through anything in his camouflage outfit. Mr. Survivor Person is certainly prepared for something. I look at my little list.

I headed to the chocolate bar section. I know you are thinking a weird choice but my logic is if we do make it through the heavy rain, snow and high winds predicted for this storm and the Halloween kids show up at my door Wednesday night, I shall be prepared. Darn those little mice that ate every chocolate bar that was bought weeks ago for that purpose. I know you know that was me. If the storm does leave us without hydro I will still be OK as chocolate seems to solve everything in my book.

I wander with my list and my Mom’s list throwing things in the cart. I finally line up in the long lineup of customers with very full carts and chat with the people surrounding me. Everyone is so nervous about what we are in for. One woman is positive we will lose our hydro another says the flooding is going to be bad as the leaves are not off the trees and will clog everything up like the eves troughs. A man says that it is going to turn cold and we will get a lot of snow. Everyone agrees the winds are going to be the worst part.  I must admit this grocery shopping trip has turned into a scary trip indeed. The media has scared everyone with the “just in case” scenarios, myself included but these people make me very nervous with their ideas. I finally get to the cash and the cashier says it has been this busy all day. I watch as MR. Survivor Person leaves the store, oh my goodness he is one of two with very full carts. Am I missing something?

I exit the store and came across a very upset older lady and I assume her daughter, they were arguing the younger woman said “I had to leave my cart I told you it would be busy, wait here”. I stepped in and said I would wait with her Mother while she went to get the car. I helped the Mother sit on her walker seat. When the daughter was out of view the Mom started to cry. She was so upset her daughter had to leave all the groceries in the cart in the long line because she was feeling so weak walking around the store and asked the daughter to get her out of there because she was being pushed around by shopping carts. She felt so helpless and scared. She was so worried about both of them not getting groceries before the storm.  I told her I was shopping for my Mom and she was 84 she replied “I am 87” I reassured her that her daughter could go back in the store and she could wait in the car. It would work out fine she would be safe and warm in the car. I told her that you cannot leave your dog in the car but it was OK to leave Moms, as I did it all the time, she laughed. That was my goal.

 I told the Mother that her daughter was glad to help her out it was her job just like when she raised her and not to worry about her being angry. I told her that is the way I feel, and I am sure it was true for her daughter too. The daughter came back and I suggested the sitting in the car for her Mom, and her running in to finish her groceries. She still looked angry, I said goodbye, I did not want to interfere, after all I was a stranger and maybe that is all it was with the daughter. I left wondering what happened. I wonder if that daughter knows someday her daughter will be treating her exactly the same way she is treating her Mom. It made me sad.

I drove home with the thoughts of this poor woman in my head and unloaded my groceries in my house. I placed the chocolate cake on the Jeep seat, and went in to get the Crock Pot full of turkey stew I had made for dinner. I grabbed the nice fresh loaf of pumpernickel bread (my Mom’s favourite) and I drove off in the direction of my Mom’s house. I wonder if she will like the flannel pants I found for her. I cannot get that other older woman out of my head. I hope the storm is not what is expected and this woman who lives alone will be OK.

I am going to hold my Mom just a little tighter when I hug her today.


We did not see the horrible side of Sandy that the weather networks had warned us about and I am grateful. My heart and prayers go out to all who were not so lucky and are dealing with her aftermath. 

My Mom was safe in her home with my sister M watching over her all night.
Happy Halloween to everyone and no I did not eat the new chocolate bars but I was tempted.There are always those left overs.


  1. I hate it when I see someone treating their elders that way; it makes me want to cry. So glad you could be there for the lady, perhaps her daughter will learn from your example. *hugs*

  2. this is such a sweet story...i love that you were such a spot of sunshine for that momma ;)

  3. I started an emergency stash of foods and water and medical supplies etc while hubby was unemployed..all I needed to buy for this storm was oil for the emergency lamps...and Chocolate..:) Seriously, the winds were 75 mph + strong and people were surfing on 25 foot waves on Lake Michigan...I'm so happy the winds have calmed down..they have not diminished all together here in S.W. Lower Michigan, but the Universe was quiet enough that yesterday after my husband came home from work I collapsed exhausted and slept for hours~~HUGS~~

  4. Hmmm. How sad that the daughter was so unkind to her 87-year-old mom. I bet their relationship is already a stressed one, and the daughter has not yet come to grips with the fact that her mom is not as capable as she was just a few years ago.

  5. I hope it was just a stressful day, and that isn't the way things normally go for either of them. :-(

    Chocolate. Absolutely my #1 choice in any storm ;-)

  6. I'd like to be stranded with you in a storm...we could share that chocolate! I feel so sorry for that mom and daughter...I hope they worked it out! You were so kind to help them!

  7. I'm glad ya'll didn't get hit too bad by the storm and that you were able to make the elderly lady smile, sounds like she doesn't get enough of that...
    You guys have to pay to use the grocery carts?!? What's up with that?!?

  8. So glad that you were there for that poor Mom, I hope the daughter is just mad at life and not her Mom. Perhpas they have had a life of travel and fun and now old age is stealing it from them, and of course the worry of the unknown with the storm.
    We got nothing here, some wind and rain but just enough I had the bedroom window open and slept like a baby.
    Hugs to everyone, and tell Mom she can have my chocolate.

    Love You, BA

  9. B, what makes you so special is the fact that you are more than willing to help others. So glad the storm did not beat you and your farm up. We were very lucky too.

  10. I think it's chocolate bar weather. Surely you can spare just one for now.

  11. Sometimes it's really really hard not to step in isn't it???? That's the female thing. We always want to fix things. I'm so glad there were no problems out your way. Oh, and by the way, I think those same mice may have gotten into my chocolate pumpkins...especially the ones filled with fudge. Strange yes?????

  12. Sandy sounds like a sweet lady.

    She turns up to be no, to some of the people.

  13. Oh that was so kind of you my dear. You just wore your heart of heart to this seet older lady. She needed that and you were her . Perfect timing for her as her daughter angrily went off.

    I was thinking what my son wrote email to me yesterday from work.

    A lady of 50 odd was going to get her last supplies of water before Sandy was to hit . When the sign from the store fell off in parking lott and instantly killed her.
    From the high winds of Sandy.That store sign should of been fastened more secure.Yes hug your Mom's . You never know if your Mom will have had her last days.

    And for that daughter being angry.

    I guess she has forgotten how her Mom cared for her. So what goes around comes back. One day her family will respond same way. Then she will think back of how she treated her Mom.

    Now that is verbal abuse she just did to her dear Mom.

    I worked in a nursing home and I know the nursing homes of family visitors was sad. The older ladies sat wringing their hands. Saying my daughter is coming today and my son. I knew they were not. I soon became the caregiver in passion as much as my duties.

    The elderly are so verbal abused.

  14. Sandy pretty much passed us by. Just a hair too far north...
    You have to figure that maybe that Mom treated her daughter like that, many years ago... I listen to the way my husband talks to his mother, and I just cringe, but I know it is all training.
    You still have hours!!! to go through all that chocolate...

  15. glad you made it through - and still have chocolate to share. :)

  16. Whew, glad y'all are safe. It was sweet of you to sit with that mother and try to lighten the situation with humor. Those little acts of kindness are so important! Have fun handing out candy and treat yourself to some more chocolates! :)

  17. How sad to see someone treat their mother like they are a burden. I hope my Daughter never acts like that with me.

    So lucky you were there to lend a helping hand.

  18. Glad you guys made it out unscathed by Sandy. So sweet of you to help out with the girl's mother. I hope as frustrated as she gets, she will still be kind to her!

  19. Our mothers are so precious and when we are young we think that they will always be here. Not so! I would love to hug my mother one more time. Blessings to you for taking such good care of your mother.

  20. It hurts me to see the elders being miss treated . I confess Papa and I got chocolate for ourselves this year and the majority of the kids here are Mennonite and don't trick or treat ! The storm here was bad but no damage for us thank goodness we have lots of big old trees I was worried would fall but they held on, farther south west in Sarnia Ontario they got hit hard . Prayers to all the folks that have lost loved ones and property from the storm ! Great post. I do love your writing .

  21. Perhaps the daughter was having a bad day. Looking after Mum and worrying about the storm. At least she had her Mum with her, and got her out of the store when she wasn't happy.
    You are a lovely lady Buttons.

  22. I wonder sometimes what would happen to me should I get really old since I have no children. If I think too much, it can get scary. You are such a good person, Buttons, and your mom, wow, how blessed she is to have you.

  23. I so thankful you and yours are safe from harm... bless you for helping this other mom... I know she was by your kindness. I would give anything to have my mom to help again, she's been gone for 26 years...

  24. Here's to good daughters, storms that fizzle out, and chocolate.

  25. Dad (95) had a really difficult night in anticipation of the storm too. He was out of bed many many times so my sister had a rough night as well.

  26. Oh dear it must have been very frightening for that older lady. I always wonder why the media feel the need to scare everybody so much. Glad to hear you weren't too badly affected by Sandy.
    By the way I LOVE your way of thinking about chocolate. :))

  27. I am so glad to hear that you are safe and the storm didn't affect you or your loved ones.

    That was very kind of you to help out the elderly woman and her daughter. Maybe it is just a bad day for them both with a little impatience because of the circumstances. It brings back memories for me of helping my Mother with grocery shopping. Sometimes despite my kind patience, she could really be a 'pill' and act like a spoiled child, although I could never get angry at her. Maybe it was just one of those days for them. Elder abuse is rampant in our society and it is a reminder to all of us that we need to stop and be kind to those that are not as 'abled' as others, which includes the elderly, disabled, and children. We all need to have more patience. A very good reminder and a very good example. Thank you for sharing this thought provoking story. xx

  28. and you my friend are an excellent daughter and friend too!

    I understand about feeling sad with the mother/daughter situation at the store - sometimes I want to pull the catholic polish italian (although im not italian)voice and say "whatsa matter with you? One day your mom, she will be gone, and there will be no one to call you daughter! WISE UP!"...and if its legal give them a slap upside the head...okay, maybe not, but inside thats what im thinking!!!

    so glad the hurricane decided not to visit you - but the moisture you did get will be great in the ground for the spring!

  29. A very emotional blog. It sounded a bad time for nearly everyone in the east. I'm glad you and your mum were not hurt. I hope the lady you helped was okay too. So sad not to have someone with her through the storm. Your mum is lucky to have such caring daughters.
    I sometimes wonder about parents that are abused or not cared for by their children. Did they contribute to the behaviour by not being a caring and kind parent in the first place. I realise this is not always the case.This joke rings true, "Be kind to your kids because they choose your nursing home."

  30. luckily, i was too busy to buy chocolate until the day before, but now there's not one piece left! :D

    and bless you for staying with that frightened woman. not everyone has someone as kind-hearted in their life as you.

  31. I just cringe when I see people treating their parents poorly. I just don't understand. have to pay to use a shopping cart??!! That completely blows me away...

  32. its the small acts that define us- and often the unexpected intersections of lives that leave us with so many thoughts and unanswered questions. You made a difference in both lives in a positive way- a day worthy of remembering!


The mind grows by what it feeds on. J.G. Holland

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